Minor, sorta Best for Zeb Colter correctly pointing out that last week’s Big E/Swagger/Lana segment made no sense, and kind of made Big E look like he was IN CAHOOTS with the evil Russians.
Big, definite Worst for another goddamn sub-minute match and for JBL being latently racist and screaming over and over that Big E “looks guilty” for no reason. Actually, I take that back — it wasn’t latent at all.
Sigh. [Drags my bad wrestling ravaged body on to the next segment].
Worst: Sincere Romance Angles Starring Fandango
Supposedly Vince fired his head writer for, I dunno, not writing enough vomit porn starring his daughter into the shows, and so he took quill in hand and penned most of this week’s TV himself. After watching this show, I’m pretty sure Vince has a second brain in his spine like a stegosaurus and wrote Smackdown with that. Or maybe the brain’s in his butt (because the show’s poop, you see).
Fandango has never had any sort of real personality. He likes to dance and cares that people pronounce his easy-to-pronounce name incorrectly. That’s it. Now we’re getting played-straight backstage segments featuring Summer Rae telling Fandango nobody can love him like she can, Layla walking in on illicit kisses and Fandango furrowing his brow like a man conflicted. WHO COULD POSSIBLY CARE?
So, then Fandango comes out for a match with Bo Dallas, and oh God, please don’t drag Bo into this mire. Before the match can even start, Summer runs down to the ring like a f*cking Muppet, all arms flailing everywhere, then starts trying to dance with Fandango like the saddest person on the planet. Then a catfight breaks out, because young ladies be mentally volatile yo, and somehow Fandango is kicked in the head by Layla, which causes him to instantly collapse in defeat. The Attitude Era is BACK baby! Please make it go away again.
Best: There’s Plenty of Fish in the Sea
Save us from an all-Worsts Smackdown Report, Bo Dallas!
I want more like this!
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