Retired UFC fighter and journeyman mouth-runner Chael P. Sonnen is out of a job and needs work. “I should become a pro wrestler and go to WWE!” he thinks. “I was a good amateur wrestler in college and can cut a funny promo, they probably don’t care that I’m a 37-year old on PEDs who once tried to give out Stephanie McMahon’s phone number on national television.”
According to a conversation on WWE Superstar Chris Jericho’s podcast Talk Is Jericho, the Sonnen-to-WWE conversation has already happened, and it didn’t go well:
“I got a call about two days before I was suspended … A WWE exec calls me up, and he said, ‘We read what you’re going through, we’re not interested.’ So I’m thinking, ‘why did you call me?’ He said ‘If you were 24 years old, you’d be making a whole jackpot full of money … But we think TNA is going to be calling you. And if they do, we want back in the game.’ So I was like, OK, now at least I get we’re you’re coming from.”
To recap all the totally true things in that story:
– Sonnen did not inquire about a WWE job himself
– WWE called HIM to tell him they weren’t interested, but are interested enough to follow him closely.
– The only reason Sonnen can’t get a WWE job is his age. THE ONLY REASON. Otherwise, he’d be RAKING IT IN, Y’ALL.
– WWE is worried about the random MMA fighters TNA keeps acquiring and wants to swoop in and steal from them.
– WWE cares about TNA
– Sonnen only understands WWE not wanting him in terms of “market value”
So there you have it, folks, no Chael Sonnen in WWE per that imaginary conversation Chael Sonnen had with WWE to make himself feel better. If Chael goes on SportsNation and tells somebody that Triple H is a punk coward who is afraid of him and won’t fight him, we’ll keep you updated. In the meantime, please enjoy this Sunday’s WWE SummerSlam event, featuring 37-year old Brock Lesnar taking on 37-year old John Cena.