Recently, as you know if you subscribe to the McMahonsplaining podcast, we had a chance to sit down to breakfast with Raw Women’s Champion Alexa Bliss and Nia Jax, two additions to this season of Total Divas.
We expected to spend the morning talking to them about the transition from civilian life to NXT to the WWE main roster, or about joining a reality show featuring scenes of Handsome Rusev becoming best friends with a tiny pig. Maybe we’d talk to them about how they’re best friends in real life, but always on the verge of becoming blood rivals on Raw. What we didn’t expect was an open, candid discussion about the importance of body positivity, the unbearable mental struggle of living with an eating disorder, and how having a friend who understands and really cares about you looking after you can make it all so much easier.
Some of this was included in the podcast (which you should absolutely go listen to), but the conversation continued through the meal, and I wanted to share that with you here.
The message we hope you take from this if you’re a survivor of an eating disorder — and don’t misinterpret that, if you’re living with one now, you’re surviving, and we’re proud of you — is that there are people out there you can talk to, and friends and loved ones who might even “murder” someone who’s making you feel down. If you don’t struggle with body dysmorphia, first of all, congratulations on winning that lottery. Second of all, lend your voice and experience to those around you who might be struggling, because sometimes all we need is a Nia Jax.
With Spandex: Recently you got a lot of attention for a body positivity post that you put up on Instagram. And I don’t know if you wanted to take the opportunity to elaborate on your thoughts on the matter, or speak out a little bit more about that?
Nia Jax: Yes, wel,l I just feel that in a close knit situation where we’re always around people, you know, I just … I should never feel … nobody of any shape, size, should ever feel less-than. And you know, sometimes when you’re around people so much and they … you’re literally we’re around each other 90 percent of the time, and they might not like you or whatever, and they share opinions that you know, that bring each other down. And that’s not what we’re about. That’s not what the women’s division, that’s not what me or Alexa are about, we don’t like to bring people down. So I just felt like I needed to say that for me and all the other people in different aspects of the world, who feel like they are subjected to that kind of bullying. They need to stand up for themselves.
Alexa Bliss: Because it happens.
Nia: Yeah, it happens.
I mean, I’m just a blogger and I was bullied for my weight for 15 years. I used to be 320 pounds, and I lost 140.
Nia: Wow, I just got goosebumps.
Yeah. It was really terrible.
Nia: Wow. See? And that’s the thing, I don’t feel like anybody … like you have a story, and you should never feel bad. Especially somebody you’re around all the time.
I still struggle with it every day. I still see the old me in the mirror.
Nia: Exactly.
Alexa: No, I get it. I’ve been there.
Nia: Yeah. So it’s just one thing that I felt like it needed to be said. And I said it. And like I said, I’m not sorry about it.
Alexa: Especially with people who have had struggles in the past. Like you, me, Nia. Anybody.
Nia: I’m always struggling. It’s a constant struggle.
Alexa: Any comment, any single comment can be a trigger. When I was going through my treatment and everything with my eating disorder … trying to appropriately word this, my psychologist, psychiatrist they all said the same thing. It’s like a gun, right? It’s pre-loaded, every situation that you have is a bullet in that gun, and it takes one thing to pull the trigger. And that could have been a comment made to you, made to me, made to you. Do you know what I mean? And so it’s just not needed. Because you just don’t know what people are going through, you don’t know their back story, or how they feel about themselves. So you don’t need someone else determining how you should feel about yourself, it’s just not right.
Nia: With me, I’m not one to stand for any kind of that. Everybody thinks I’m a bully. No, I’m not one to stand for bullying. I just don’t approve of it, I don’t like it. Especially with her, on Total Divas, the episode with her trying to change her look. That really hit home for me because I know … I’m getting emotional, but I know what she’s gone through. And I don’t want her ever feel … I don’t want her to ever feel bad, and less than … she’s perfect the way she is. The episode was really good showing of her story. And she’s my best friend. Don’t ever make her feel bad. I’ll murder you.
Alexa: Oh, stop.
Nia: No. That’s the thing. That’s why I do posts like that. I’m in a constant struggle, right? Everyone’s in a constant struggle, and it’s a constant push every morning to be positive, to get through the day, to have a good day. To know that this is the best we’ll ever be, today. You know what I mean? We don’t know if tomorrows coming to you, so you should always make sure that you’re lifting each other up. And if there is somebody there, yeah I’m going to stand up to a bully. And I’m not going to be sorry for it.
Alexa: And I’m really proud of you for that post too, because I know a lot of people gave you backlash and everything. But I’m proud of you for that, because you know, for me I feel like sometimes I don’t have a voice. And sometimes you’re the voice for me.
Nia: Sure are, baby. Sure am.
Alexa: But to have someone that can you know, speak for those who don’t feel comfortable speaking for themselves, right? I’m really proud of you.
Nia: Sorry I’m like, I do, I get emotional when it comes to my friends and my family. That’s my trigger. Don’t you dare.
And I know that Lexi, you get a lot of positive feedback and response from the episode where you’re trying to change your look. But what I thought was most striking and most important from that episode is the thing that triggered you was … you weren’t even aware of it. You were just trying to change your look as far as your style, and you didn’t realize how closely that tied into your body image issues. And I think it’s really important for Total Divas, and for WWE to show the nuances of living with something like that.
Alexa: Yeah. And that’s another thing too, I … it’s people who have gone through it know it’s not about being thin enough, it’s not being, you know, a certain size, a certain weight, it’s about control. And when you don’t feel like you have control in your life, that gives you something to have control of. And it’s an addiction. And it’s a mental disorder.
It’s like self harm.
Alexa: It is.
Nia: Yeah.
Alexa: It’s self harm. That’s exactly what it is. And you can relate it to anything in life. And the fact that you know, and sometimes you’re not aware of it, but when for example Maurice was trying to change me, I had no control over that. And so it’s like she put me in check, you don’t need to change who you are, look at what you’ve gone through. And it can be any situation, and it’s just a control issue. It’s self harm. It literally is. And a lot of people need to see that it can be as simple as that, that it can effect anybody. And that’s why I was very open about getting my message out there, because I’m at the point now where I’m comfortable finally talking about it, because I never wanted people to feel sorry for me, I don’t want people to judge me, I never wanted people to you know, look at me any differently or be like, “oh, she just keeps talking about this to get something.” No, I’m talking about it because I didn’t have someone to look up to when I was going through it.
I didn’t have someone to say, “hey, you can go through it, and you can be just fine.” And not let it define you, because it’s something that you live with your entire life. Once it’s in there, in your head, it never goes away. I still have things that I will not eat. I cannot eat them, I cry …
Nia: Oh yeah. I’m always like, I’ll watch with her too. There’s certain times where I’m like, you better eat that whole protein bar.
Alexa: I can’t. I can’t eat a full protein bar. That’s my thing.
Nia: But that’s not a reason why if she’ll eat something, I’ll eat half. Because I’m like …
Alexa: Yeah, because she makes it possible.
Nia: Because then I’m like, okay don’t worry, I’ll eat half of that. I’ll get the other half for you, girl.
Alexa: And it’s like, yeah it makes me feel better about what I am eating. And what I’m putting in my body … the decisions I make. Because I’m making the choice to eat that, and then she’s helping me through it by saying, I don’t have to eat all that.
Nia: I got you.
I did this really seesaw thing, where I got really made fun of really bad in high school, so I’m … I was in love with a girl who only liked guys who were really skinny and had blue eyes. But I could never have blue eyes, so like, I’ll be skinny.
Alexa: Yeah. And that’s the thing, is it starts as simple dieting and then it starts as something, and then you have control over it, and then it becomes … like, for a while I was doing the same thing. And then I literally lost every kind of reflex and that’s when I just stopped eating. I get it.
Nia: I’m on the opposite where if I’m sad or tired or something, I just eat. Because it’s like I’m sad, I’m going to make up for it, I eat.
My thing is having to finish my plate. Like if I have food on my plate, I’m like I have to finish this or else someone’s going to be mad at me.
Nia: 100 percent, because that’s how I grew up. Super poor, my mom was … she had four different jobs, scrubbed toilets, you know helped clean bedpans. We had no money. So any food on the plate, you had to finish. So that’s the same thing. I always tell her that, I’m like I always have to finish my plate … But yeah. It’s a constant thing for me. There’s times where I’ve been skinny, but I’ll never be small. That’s one thing, I will never, ever be, you know.
Alexa: But you look good how you are. There’s like … I’ve seen pictures of you when you were really tiny, and it’s just not you.
Nia: I have a big head, so it doesn’t fit on my body, you know what I mean? I’ve got to be proportioned.
Alexa: You’re gorgeous the way you are.
(And if you haven’t had a chance to listen yet, here’s that McMahonsplaining podcast with Nia Jax and Alexa Bliss.)
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