Bernie Sanders isn’t the only one making waves at a California rally. While the Democratic slid into action to the sound of DMX’s “Where The Hood At?,” Trump was crafting plans to solve an issue near and dear to the state’s residents. The real estate mogul — who is used to solving problems with the wave of a wallet — arrived at his Fresno rally amid the usual protests. He then outlined his simple plan to solve California’s ongoing water crisis, which he blamed on environmental activists (who are trying to save the delta smelt fish). The solution to the problem, as Trump explained, was something that could be done in an instant. He then vowed to “open up the water” to farmers.
In Fresno, Donald Trump says environmentalists are to blame for California's drought and he will solve it by "opening up the water".
— James Cook (@BBCJamesCook) May 27, 2016
Trump then made an even more grandiose statement: “There is no drought.” He believes that the protection of the almost extinct fish prompts authorities to let water gush into the ocean. Do you follow? Trump’s presumably speaking of water that flows from the Sacramento River to San Francisco Bay (and into the ocean). Farmers would prefer to lay hands on that water for crops, and Trump seems to believe that allowing this to happen would solve the entire drought. Can’t he make water fall from the sky instead?
"They are trying to protect a certain 3-inch fish. The environmentalists don't know why. " — Trump on why farmers don't get enough water
— Robin Abcarian (@AbcarianLAT) May 27, 2016
We're gonna solve your water problem … it is so insane, they are taking water and sending it out to sea — Trump
— Robin Abcarian (@AbcarianLAT) May 27, 2016
Of all the silly campaign promises Trump could make, this one qualifies as the most outlandish. And of course, Twitter got a kick out of this “solution.”
@AnneMcGuire97 is that the same as 'parting the waves' ? : ) #mosestrump
— new_politics (@cicero_101) May 27, 2016
https://twitter.com/jaketobin/status/736279822117310465
He'll open up the water so good. You haven't seen water as open as he'll have it. It'll be so open. https://t.co/aHTTFEXebm
— 𖧧 gina♮ (@bitcaw) May 27, 2016
"Drought? Open up the water."
"Homelessness? Shatter the fragile void."
"Civil unrest? Skip a sun stone across discontent"— TIMESCANNER (@timescanner) May 27, 2016
Damn he's good. Why did no one else think of just "opening the water" ?
— Ken Murray (@Ken_J_Murray) May 27, 2016
He has the wettest water.
— petedavidsonny.bsky.social🌎🏳️🌈🇺🇸 (@Rotobahn) May 27, 2016
https://twitter.com/bates_jamil/status/736264958871117824
https://twitter.com/TWKftw/status/736281446201970688
If only the solution to every crisis was this easy, right? The run up to the California primary doesn’t hold immediate stakes for Trump, since he’s already clinched the Republican nomination. But his followers lap up almost anything he says, and they’re predisposed to cheer for any slamming he does of environmental causes. So, this preposterous promise will end up boosting Trump’s general election status, even as the rest of the world shakes its head.