Yesterday’s prostate exam segment on the Today Show, which saw Matt Lauer and Al Roker both get their cornholes fingered on live TV, really raised the bar on what television can accomplish. But today I bring you a reminder that how ever far we’ve come, Japan is still three steps ahead. As they prove in this segment from “Orgasm Wars,” in which a gay porn star attempts to bring a male porn star to climax against his will. That’s right, while we may have consensual, non-sexual butt fingering, they’ve got competitive, adversarial blow jobs. Taking place inside some sort of fancy glory hole contraption. Advantage: Japan.
Here’s the video. I don’t know if I’d call it SFW, but there isn’t any nudity or anything. There’s a better chance you’ll get fired for laughing too hard.
I took the liberty of copying down some of my favorite lines:
“It begins with an exchange of business cards.” [ooh, kinky.]
“The manager expresses his strong confidence.”
“To begin with, I don’t get turned on by men. And to be honest, I was expecting to be presented with a much more handsome man.”
“Takura has requested iodine.” (*gargles with iodine*)
“The time limit for this challenge is 40 min, the average play time for a call girl.” [I’d like to see the research on this]
“This shape of the cock is the shape that I can make come.”
“Compared to your average woman, he is very, very good. But still. I am not hard.”
“The sounds have changed this time, and he is touching his nipple.”
“The university students can do nothing but laugh and look on.”
“I was close, but I am determined not to come.”
You’ll have to watch it if you want to know the outcome, I don’t want to spoil it for you, I’m not a monster. In any case, I guess we should’ve known that “Orgasm Wars” would be more entertaining than, say, Storage Wars.
[Thanks for the tip, Brian, wherever you found this]