By now, you probably know all about the saga of the “outed” Duke freshman cum porn star, who has since wrote a second editorial owning her actual porn name, Belle Knox (I’ve researched some of her work myself and I really like what she brings to the genre). Knox finished her piece, “My name is Belle Knox, and I wear my Scarlet Letter with pride,” and I say good for her. If you’re one of the .001% of people in the western world who doesn’t masturbate to porn, judge away, but for the rest of us, if someone’s giving you a boner, the least you can do is be nice.
Of course, this whole affair started when Duke bro Thomas Bagley allegedly outed Knox at a frat party. As Knox wrote:
After promising me he would respect my privacy, he proceeded to reveal who I was to the entire Greek system, which is when all of this controversy first began. I started to be harassed. He started to be applauded.
In fairness, Bagley did say he would take it back if he could:
“She told me that I ruined her life,” he said. “As much as it was her decision to go into the profession, it was her decision who to tell. I certainly would take it back. I would take pretty much that whole night back.”
But that didn’t stop porn CEO Mike Kulich of Monarchy Distribution from outing Bagley as a subscriber to a site called “Facial Abuse” (dedicated to rough facials), and issuing him a special offer in an open letter.
Dear Mr. Bagley,
First off, I would like to thank you for being such a fan of our business. For someone who subscribes to a site like Facial Abuse I want to commend you for spending the $200 a week your parents send you every week for living expenses wisely. Facial Abuse is a great site! There is nothing like watching a new girl getting a huge cock viciously rammed down her throat. I like your taste!
I want to also commend you on getting accepted into Duke. Great school! I am sure your parents are proud. I bet you pull straight A’s when you’re not whacking it to Facial Abuse and Casting Couch movies. I love our fans and I love you! You are the type of guy that makes our business move.
With that I would like to make you an offer. As I sit here in my office at 6:30 on a Wednesday night I am writing a check for $10,000 to pay to the order of Thomas Bagley. I want to give you the opportunity to live out all your fantasies. In addition to that 10K, there is a plane ticket and hotel room with your name on it out here in sunny Los Angeles. Screw the polar vortex. Get your ass out and come shoot for us! I will give you the opportunity to bang ANY porn star you want. We will make you a celebrity because it is apparent how much you love porn and attention.
10 Grand is a lot of money for a kid like you. Do you know how many porn memberships you could buy with that? That is more than a lifetime membership to Facial Abuse!
I ask that you seriously consider our offer. Any girl you want! Come out to LA and become a star. ALSO, for every inch you are packing over 4, I will throw in an EXTRA $1,000. Get your tiny pecker out here and become the next Ron Jeremy kiddo!
All my best,
Mike Kulich
Kulich is a known publicity whore with a penchant for outlandish offers and open letters, and he wasn’t the first person to out Bagley, but his offer definitely has a certain… panache. Does Bagley deserve to have the internet’s eye of Sauron focused on him? Is he really “a bully?” I don’t know. Maybe. In a way it’s only fair, but at the same time, I can’t imagine too many 18-year-old dipshit dudes who could be trusted to keep the knowledge that one of his classmates is a porn star a secret.
I don’t see any outlets listing Bagley’s frat yet. I would say he’s a Sigma Chi, but the porn had a chick in it so that’s probably out. Then I thought maybe Pike, but everyone knows those bros are a bunch of buttchuggers. I could probably just Google “thomas bagley” and “Duke” to find out (*cough*) hint, hint (*cough, cough*), but me and Burnsy just bought some brews for a game of Edward 40 Hands and it’s really hard to type with bottles of Steel Reserve taped to your hands. Hey! Tell Danger to get the f*ck out of my chair, you guys all heard me call golden. Screw this, dude, your little bro is definitely not getting my sig now.