Perhaps my favorite tag on FilmDrunk is “Celebrity Neighbor Feuds.” There’s no greater rich people problem than having neighbors who think their high property values entitle them to tell you what you can do, where you can build, and where you can put the wading pool for your white tigers. Whether it’s Reese Witherspoon’s mini-menagerie, Alan Ball’s minah birds, or George Lucas’s low-income-housing-as-f*ck-you, I could drink the impotent spitefulness straight from the spigot. God, it’s delicious.
Today the canon has a new entry, as Kristen Stewart’s mom, Jules Mann Stewart, who recently directed her first feature, K-11, ahs filed a restraining order against her neighbor, who accuses her of owning wolves. And every Twilight fan knows wolves represent ethnic temptation, so them’s fighting words.
Stewart says the beef began April 21, when the neighbor walked up Jules Mann Stewart’s driveway. Stewart says she ordered the 61-year-old woman off her property … and according to legal docs the two exchanged heated, vulgar words.
The neighbor, Sue Bemi, allegedly claimed Stewart’s dogs were actually WOLVES. Bemi supposedly screamed her wolves “belong in the mountains of Montana” and should be set free and she was ready to take care of business.
Woman scorned, schmoman schmorned, hell hath no fury like a middle-aged busybody who thinks she’s standing up for animal rights (see also: the case of the Lebowski Store Cat).
Stewart’s filing says after their blowup, Bemi started a campaign of harassment, regularly making “howling sounds, growls, chirps and other weird noises” … which riled up the animals.
An angry, passive-aggressive neighbor growling over your fence like a wolf over an allegation that you’re cruel to animals? My God, this story IS California.
To be fair to Jules’ batshit neighbor, that does look like a wolf. Though at the very least, we know it’s not Taylor Lautner because it’s wearing a shirt.
[TMZ]