Last night’s ‘The Walking Dead’ zombie plan was bad and Rick should feel bad

Last night, “The Walking Dead” returned with a vengeance. After half of season of wondering how the residents of Alexandria weren”t zombie chow yet, the answer was revealed: dumb, dumb luck. If not for some strategically placed semi trucks, Rick and the gang would”ve found a smoking ruin instead of a thriving community.

WARNING: SPOILERS, OBVIOUSLY.

Rick and Morgan”s horrifying discovery while burying Pete in the woods* was the biggest zombie Horde we”ve seen to date. Contained within the rock quarry were close to a thousand walkers, with more being drawn to the noise every day. If the poor schmucks who created the bottleneck had had the wherewithal to fill the pit with spikes, it would”ve been a fantastic zombie trap. Instead it was a ticking time bomb ready to spew the undead straight at Alexandria as soon as the gravel gave way and semi truck blockade fell.

*Why Rick and Morgan had to drive out to the middle of nowhere to bury Pete instead of just outside the walls is ridiculous, especially on the logic of “We don”t bury killers inside the town.” That”s some hypocritical nonsense.

Image Credit: AMC

What the residents of Alexandria decide to do with this imminent threat is to chuck the Idiot Ball™ back and forth until they”re all so concussed that herding the Horde in the other direction becomes the best plan. At least, that appeared to be the plan. Never once during the episode was it implied otherwise. Rick even says Sasha, Abraham, and Daryl would lead the herd another 20 miles down the road and then circle back.

[Read Alan's review of “First Time Again” here!]

That was it. Just parade a Horde of walkers the size of a small town out into a field and leave them to their own devices. Talk about kicking the can down the road! Yes, it was better than no plan. Yes, it was designed by the writers to ultimately lead the Horde straight to Alexandria”s doorstep as the horns sounded. Yes, it”ll make for great drama as the reality of the new world is hammered home to ignorant citizens who thought they were safe behind their walls. Yes, people have to make terrible choices because plot sometimes.

But there was a better plan just staring them in the face and everyone in Rick”s group should”ve been able to see it. The plan they SEEMED to be using in the opening scene of the episode. The “300” plan.

“Now, in that narrow corridor, their numbers will count for nothing.”

Image Credit: Warner Bros.

No one is afraid of a singular zombie. Except maybe the residents of Alexandria, but that”s beside the point. One zombie is not a threat to anyone. Especially if it is out in the open and you can see it coming from a mile away. Instead of spending days creating a corridor of cars and searching for helium to fill balloons, they could”ve used the corrugated metal sheets to create a secondary blockade for when the semi truck gave way. Now solidly contained back in the pit, the group could”ve taken their time to build a metal corridor to herd the Horde down. Standing up on the safety of zombie stands – like a deer stand but for zombies – it”d be like stabbing undead fish in a barrel. Would it take forever? Yes. Would the corridor have to be long enough to keep the bodies from creating a blockage? Yes. Would it be a more permanent solution than “free range walkers”? Yes.

King Leonidas would be so disappointed, you guys.