Welcome to Reality TV Roundup — a quick look at some of the reality TV-centric stories that have recently popped up across the fine, old Interwebs. Click away, my couch potato friends. But before you do…
SPOILER ALERT! SPOILER ALERT! SPOILER ALERT! One more time: SPOILER ALERT. If you watch “The X Factor,” “Survivor,” “Dancing with the Stars,” “Top Chef,” “Project Accessory,” “Work of Art,” “The Biggest Loser” or “America’s Next Top Model,” the latest elimination for each show is revealed in the text below. The hope is that, if you missed this week’s program and would rather clear out your DVR than watch the episode, you can get a quick hit here. But don’t come crying to me if you find out something you didn’t want to know. You’ve been warned. Also note: lots of non-competition reality info lurks below, too.
COMPETITION REALITY SHOWS
It’s a double elimination that squishes too much show into too little time! Ozzy gets the boot and has a nice time fishing on Redemption Island, and he’s joined by Jim. Everyone hates Cochran, and Dawn is the last underdog for us to root for, if you believe the editing.
Christine Markoski stands by her “temporary” assessment of Coach. Ouch.
Whitney claims to be single on the show. She isn’t.
Jeff Probst will continue to host “Survivor” even though he’s taking on his own daytime chat show. Here’s how it will impact “Survivor.”
You may have noticed that CBS censored Ozzy’s vote for Cochran. If you’re wondering what it said, click here. But we’re pretty sure you can figure it out on your own.
THE AMAZING RACE
Justin and Jennifer blow a roadblock when Jennifer leaves a clue with Justin and stares stupidly into space instead of going back to him to get it. So, yup, they go home.
Justin and Jennifer reveal exactly how long Jennifer stared into space. Yes, it was way too long.
THE X FACTOR
Stereo Hogzz becomes the latest act to be sent home. Might have had something to do with that name.
Rachel Crow’s cute AND she was a crack baby. So she’s inspiring, too!
DANCING WITH THE STARS
The competition gets down to the final four couples — by kicking Nancy Grace to the curb.
Nancy Grace claims she was robbed of the mirror ball. She’s kidding. I think.
Still, she lost a lot of weight on the show, so it’s not a total loss.
Cheryl Burke reveals her rules for ruling the show. And why Rob Kardashian is her favorite star partner ever. No, really.
Derek Hough and Lauren Conrad have broken up. In case you knew they were together in the first place.
J.R. Martinez and Karina Smirnoff offer dance lessons to veterans. As if we didn’t love him enough already.
Maks says he has nothing but love for Hope and he’s not feuding with Derek. Good.
The final group and the chefs stranded on the bubble fight it out for the last of the chef’s jackets. Farewell, Chaz, we hardly knew thee.
THE BIGGEST LOSER
Joe Mitchell is the latest competitor sent home from the ranch. He says he won’t give up hope, which means he won’t be sitting on the sofa, eating and crying.
The judges don’t have to decide whether Nicolina’s tampon belt or David’s Aspen Barbie is worse — it’s a double elimination, so they both go home.
AMERICA’S NEXT TOP MODEL
Shannon will not compromise herself by modeling underwear! So Shannon will be going home.
Shannon talks about protecting her brand. By not modeling undies. No, seriously.
NON-COMPETITION REALITY TV SHOWS
THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF BEVERLY HILLS
Kim reveals her big secret to Kyle while Taylor and Lisa are fixing for a fight.
THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF ATLANTA
Phaedra likes dead people, Kandi likes sex toys, and NeNe and Sheree like fighting and screaming at one another.
And speaking of sex toys, Kandi has some details on her sex toy line. Oh, I’m sorry, intimate luxury line.
Kim and Kroy got married on Nov. 11, 2011. Because they’re kute!
Check out the winners of the Your OWN Show contest. Each winner gets their own show. Just a guess, but I somehow doubt any of these are going to save the network.
Now that Piers Morgan has dumped “America’s Got Talent,” Howard Stern might step in. Hide your kids, America.
Kasey and Vienna of “Bachelor Pad” deny they’ve broken up. But we know it’ll happen eventually, right?
The Duggars are having another kid, which means it’s time to change the title of “19 Kids and Counting” again.
Remember Megan on “Rock of Love”? No? Well, she got six months probation for a DUI.
Nick Cannon, host of “America’s Got Talent” and unfunny Mariah Carey spouse, joked about killing a dog. PETA was not amused.
“Work of Art”‘s Bayete Ross Smith was eliminated and says he “couldn’t pull it together at all.”