As a helpful reminder in a world where words are increasingly meaningless and everything seems hilariously stupid, the 45th President of the United States is a WWE Hall of Famer who was once used as a plot device for the Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling, shares wrestling memes to decrease his country’s trust of their own media, and had to call in to verify whether or not Vince McMahon really died in an exploding limo at the end of an episode of Raw. He also, according to a podcast interview with Chair Shots to the Cranium, was once pranked by Vince McMahon via vampire.
The vampire in question is of course Gangrel, leader of the Brood, whose still-beloved entrance involved him rising up through a literal ring of fire and spitting a pimp cup of “blood” onto the front row of the crowd. That front row once involved Donald Trump, as seen here:
“The Donald Trump thing, it was a rib and Vince plan. I wasn’t even on the show at The Garden and all of a sudden, they called me at home and said, ‘Vince wants you at The Garden show.’ It’s last-second, you know I was all excited, I had always dreamed of wrestling at Madison Square Garden with WWE. I mean, The Garden is such a great venue.
“So I was stoked and I get there and I see I’m a special attraction with Kane. I go, ‘wow, I don’t know why they really needed me. I’m just going to be chokeslammed in three minutes and be done, but whatever, it’s cool. It’s The Garden.’ I go out to the ring and I see someone and say to myself, ‘that guy doesn’t really fit here,’ but I got the sunglasses on and the red lights are going and the energy’s going so I pretty much rush through it. I go up the steps and I can hear the people really getting behind me. I’m like, ‘Whoa, this is cool. I’m over in The Garden.’ I start drinking and the deeper I kept drinking, the louder it got. I spray and it roars so I’m guessing this whole time I was drinking down, people were trying to pull Donald Trump back, but he didn’t want to be touched so MSG security were pushing themselves against the guardrail. So they’re trying to push him even further away and I didn’t see them and I just spray as hard as I ever could spray. I was super scared I was going to get in trouble.
“Stephanie [McMahon] told me, ‘my dad’s upset, Trump is his friend.’ She wound me up for like a day and a half or something and it turns out Vince set that whole thing up. He double-ribbed all of us.”
Donald Trump and a wrestling vampire: ribbed for Vince McMahon’s pleasure. Now if we can just figure out the story of why Trump once no-sold a supernatural clock-themed ladybug man with worms hanging out of his mouth.
(transcription h/t to Wrestling Inc.)