Global Force Wrestling Hilariously Retconned Their Own Pay-Per-View

How do you make years-old footage of a show no television network wanted relevant to today’s wrestling landscape? If you’re Global Force Wrestling, well, you just make sh*t up.

In 2015, Global Force Wrestling brought their minor league baseball-quality wrestling to Las Vegas, where they taped multiple episodes of AMPED. Sadly, it was not just a pro wrestling version of that kid who wears a suit and reviews energy drinks. Instead, they filmed a tonne of shows that wouldn’t actually see the light of day until the company merged with Impact Wrestling to become the televised clusterf*ck we know and don’t really love today.

Now, Forceful Impact Global Wrestling or whatever it’s calling itself these days has packed all of that unwanted footage into four One Night Only Pay-Per-View anthologies featuring all of your favourite Global Force Superstars who are definitely still there and don’t work anywhere else at all whatsoever:

Ah yes, two stars who are definitely IMPACT4LYFE.

Instead of acknowledging that these episodes were filmed in the past, GFW Impact has re-recorded their commentary so the anthologies are ‘up to date,’ like mentioning Kenny King’s turn on The Bachelorette, and uh … this:

Wow, it was so nice of WWE to give everyone time off to hang out in Las Vegas and wrestle for Not NXT. By doing this, GFW has already taken their problematically merged canonical universes and smushed them together with WWE’s, making things even more complicated and confusing than three companies wanting you to think TJP is a likable person:

Man, they really should have just gone with our ideas instead.

h/t Maffew