I believe the unofficial rundown of John Cena’s “five moves of doom” is as follows:
- jumping shoulderblock (x 2)
- duck a haymaker, into the Proto-bomb
- Five-Knuckle Shuffle™
- Attitude Adjustment®
Over the years he’s added and taken away various moves from his repertoire, such as “The Throwback,” the diving leg drop to a standing opponent from the top rope, a comically bad but awesome hurricanrana, and a springboard stunner that connected 100% of the time despite only connecting about 0% of the time. There have been others, but Cena — now with SHREDDED, VEINY PHYSIQUE to compliment his role in an upcoming Jackie Chan flick — recently promised that’d he’d been working on a “sixth move of doom,” and that he’d debut it when WWE went to Shanghai, China.
Never say John Cena’s not a man of his word, jack, because that event happened on Saturday, and ladies and gentlemen, I present to you new move #6: the LIGHTNING FIST.
Yes, depending on your perspective that’s either a thrusting backhand out of the corner, or Cena throwing up his own “somebody’s injured” taunt before throwing a punch that doesn’t connect. It also may be called LIGHTNING PUNCH. Literally all I want from the next year of WWE television now is Cena entering the Royal Rumble at #1 and eliminating 29 competitors in a row with nothing but LIGHTNING FISTS. I want Roman Reigns to go for a spear, get caught with Lightning Fist, and have his entire body catch fire.
Let’s hope Cena stays in China long enough to develop an entirely new moveset based around Jackie Chan film offense. Imagine the things he could do in a TLC match!