WWE’s Survivor Series pay-per-view (on the WWE Network during a free trial period, so … the Survivor Series free-per-view?) airs this Sunday. It features a “traditional” Survivor Series elimination tag team match in the main-event: Team Authority vs. Team Cena, with the future of WWE on the line. It’s terribly exciting.
To celebrate the annual event, we’ve burrowed into the archives and compiled a list of what we feel are the very worst teams in Survivor Series history. They range from the embarrassing to the pitiful to the unexplainable. From huge disappointments to flagrant mistakes. More than one of them involve clowns.
Give the list a look and let us know who your least favorites were. And remember: no matter how bad Survivor Series might be this year, it won’t be “Bushwhackers in Doink makeup” bad.
15. Team Rated RKO (2006)
Randy Orton and Edge are great. If “Team Rated RKO” had been Team RKO by themselves, 5-on-2, they would’ve had a better shot.
Rounding out the squad was a dream team of awkward mid-2000s gimmicks. You’ve got a post-Hurricane Gregory Helms, who was so bland and forgettable that his TitanTron video was him wearing sunglasses on a five-second loop for three minutes. You’ve got a post-MNM, pre-parkour John Morrison and “ECW’s” Mike Knox, a guy whose character was “hates exhibitionism, but is dating an exhibitionist.” It was like Randy Savage and Miss Elizabeth, if Elizabeth had brain damage and wouldn’t stop taking off her clothes.
They run up against the self-congratulating Dream Team of the Hardy Boyz, CM Punk and the TV-PG version of D-Generation X. The pre- and post-match celebrations from that team are longer than the match. Hey Orton and Edge, next time you’re asked to stock a Survivor Series team, don’t do it with the action figures from an abandoned mid-western K-Mart.
14. Team Alliance (2001)
Don’t get me wrong, Team Alliance is AMAZING. It features Stone Cold Steve Austin and Kurt Angle, for God’s sakes. It makes the list for two big reasons:
1. It’s supposed to be a team representing all the biggest stars from ECW and WCW. Look at this picture:
Remove Booker T and Rob Van Dam and it’s “Team WWF vs. Team WWF, WINNER TAKE ALL.” Nothing says “we hate WWF” like the son of the guy who owns the company and its biggest star. It’d be like doing the Brady Bunch vs. the Partridge Family and booking it as Greg, Peter and Bobby vs. Marcia, Jan and Danny Bonaduce.