Ole Miss Football Tried Their Best With Their ‘nWo Championship’ Belts

During a 47-27 squash match between Ole Miss and South Alabama last weekend, a very poorly constructed replica wrestling belt made an appearance sometime in the 3rd quarter. It had the words “Humble”, “Beast Mode”, “Mobility” and (probably, we can’t see), more generic fierceness like “Hustle”, “Loyalty”, or “Respect.”

The centerpiece of the belt is the classic nWo logo with the words “Nasty Wide Outs” written underneath. It’s a sweet gesture and a decent shot at motivating your players, but the issue comes down to the fact that this belt definitely looks like it was purchased at a garage sale or a run down Wal-Mart.

Plus, “nWo” isn’t the name of a championship belt. Also, they should have used black spray paint on the SEC Championship trophy that they’ll never win. Bonus points if they roll up to every road game they play like the black and white did at Souled Out 1997.
Let’s take a look at the straps:

Look, “Nasty Wide Outs” certainly works if your M.O. is to parody the nWo. But Ole Miss doesn’t exactly fit the bill otherwise. For those who don’t follow college football we’ll do our best to break it down in terms I assume we all mutually agree on since we’re all on this wrestling website.

If the SEC is the nWo, then Hulk Hogan is Alabama (dominating, annoying). Kevin Nash is LSU (party animal, susceptible to finger pokes of doom in National Championship games, stars in Magic Mike) and Scott Hall is Florida (Razor Ramon). Paul Finebaum is probably Eric Bischoff. Shawn Michaels and Booker T are Texas A&M and Missouri. Ole Miss is Horace at worst and Vincent at best, although the whole coach resigning in disgrace over calls to an escort service and NCAA scandal thing ups their cred a bit.

The Rebels play unranked, unknown, collegiate jobber Tennessee-Martin this weekend and the only way they can make this Nasty Wide Out championship belt thing work is if they put it on the line against their opponents each and every week, starting with the Skyhawks this Saturday. In a ladder match. With the belt dangling over the student section in Oxford.