Think the idea of WWE Hall of Famer Shawn Michaels returning at the Royal Rumble to face AJ Styles is the most ridiculous Shawn Michaels news you’ll read this week? Here’s a story about him starring in a Star Wars version of Scary Movie that also spoofs super hero movies and stars MTV vee-jay turned rapper Simon Rex.
Variety (congratulations!) announced that the Heartbreak Kid will appear in the brutally titled, Avengers of Justice: Farce Wars, which seriously sounds like it was written and titled by an 8-year old who reads a lot of Cracked magazine and wants to make his own super hero parody. Beyond HBK and Karate Dog star Rex — he doesn’t play the titular karate dog, although I know how that reads — FATMAN V POOPERMAN: HAN OF JUST US features Kevin from The League and an out-of-Crank-sequels Amy Smart.
Look upon these character names, ye mighty, and despair:
In the film, Earth is reeling from one too many superhero and super-villain clashes. These face-offs have led to billions of dollars in damages, and forced heroes with superpowers into hiding.
[Stephen] Rannazzisi, best known for his work on the FXX comedy series “The League,” plays SuperBat, who has lost his fortune, mansion, and the joy he once got from crime fighting. Rex (“Scary Movie” series) will appear as Dark Jokester, a baddie who wants to freeze the world. Michaels, a WWE superstar, will appear as SuperBat’s mentor and the man who whips him into shape. Smart, the star of “Road Trip” and “The Butterfly Effect,” takes on Jean Wonder, SuperBat’s wife and Dark Jokester’s kidnap victim. In order to fight Dark Jokester, SuperBat reunites the Avengers of Justice, a group with members such as Beaverine, El Capitan South America, and ThorBacca. Pretty apparent which films are being parodied here.
DARK JOKESTER, you guys. And THORBACCA. That’s not even a joke or a play on words. They’re just gonna put a Thor Halloween costume on a Chewbacca Halloween costume and call it a day. And I don’t even wanna know how many vagina and/or “he likes having WOOD in his mouth” jokes they had ready to go for “Beaverine.”
We’ll keep you updated on the release date for BLECCH PANTHER: THE VAMPIRE STRIKES BLECCH or whatever, because there’s absolutely a joke about how BB-8 is somebody’s balls and we don’t want you to miss it.
