The Toys ‘R’ Us Giraffe Entered A Royal Rumble And Fought A Vampire

07.14.18 5 months ago 10 Comments

We know what all the words in that headline mean, but even after watching the above video (with a h/t to Pro Wrestling Sheet) we aren’t totally sure how they fit together. But here we are: Geoffrey the Giraffe, a spokesgiraffe who was forced to step away from his lifelong gig as the mascot of Toys ‘R’ Us after the company went out of business earlier this year, has begun his second career as a pro wrestling hoss.

Florida Supercon Wrestling — also known as Fantasy Super Cosplay Wrestling, the people who once convinced WWE Hall of Famer Mick Foley to fight The Walking Dead‘s Negan — held a Royal Rumble match to name a new number one contender to the promotion’s championship. There were plenty of surprise entrants, including former WWE’s Brood-leading vampire Gangrel, but none more surprising than the big man from New Jersey by way of sub-Saharan Africa.

Watch in wonder as Geoffrey uses his size and extraneous consonants to hit big standing clotheslines and a CHOKESLAM (!) on what appears to be a hold guard from Whiterun in Skyrim. Thank goodness he didn’t take a Falcon Arrow to the knee. His Cinderella run in the match ends with art imitating life, and Geoffrey being eliminated from competition via Amazon Prime bundle. Thanks as always, pro wrestling.

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