Linda McMahon Had Her Confirmation Hearing And No One Could Stop Looking At Triple H

Are things weird enough yet? Nah, things probably aren’t weird enough yet. We already knew that Linda McMahon would be Donald Trump’s pick to lead the government’s Small Business Administration, and on Tuesday, she had her confirmation hearing … and she brought along her daughter and son-in-law, Stephanie McMahon and Triple H.

If you thought maybe a Linda McMahon confirmation hearing would be weird, guess what: it was even weirder than you thought it might be. I mean, it was surreal enough given that real United States Senators were interviewing Linda McMahon about a position high up in the federal government, but there was also a whole lot of wrestling talk. During a Presidential cabinet confirmation hearing.

Linda actually did get grilled a good deal on certain things, like climate change, the issue of independent contractors (PRETTY PERTINENT), and so on, but as these confirmation hearings go 100 percent of the time, she gave political answers that don’t really say anything.

Extremely interesting was Linda’s opening remarks, where she said as a business owner and CEO, she would never ask an employee to do anything she herself wouldn’t do, which has never been more accurate. Linda McMahon played a drugged-up zombie forced to watch her real-life husband copulate with other women, and has taken Stunners, People’s Elbows, and Tombstones. No one can say she hasn’t always been willing to do anything she’s ever asked of her employees.

But the pièce de résistance definitely went to internet darling Cory Booker, who called the room’s attention to Triple H, then clowned on him for a while.

Cory Booker: Ms. McMahon, I want to thank you for being here.It means a lot for you to serve your country – to step forward and be willing to make the kind of sacrifices that you’re have to make in this position. So, I’m grateful for your patriotism.

I want to also just say that when your daughter and son-in-law stood up, I just want to say for the record, that your daughter is far more fierce and intimidating than your son-in-law.

*laughter* (Unknown speaker: “That’s sexist!”)

He and I are about the same age, almost exactly the same age, and Paul’s letting himself slip a little bit so after this maybe we should go to the Senate gym so I can give Triple H some triple help in getting back in shape.

Linda: Stephanie can give you a mean hiptoss.

Cory Booker: I believe that.

McMahon is expected to be confirmed to the position in short order. Next step: a Triple H presidency. If you have an hour and a half to spare, you can watch the entire confirmation hearing over at C-Span by clicking here.