Previously on the Best And Worst of WWE Smackdown Live: Hell in a Cell 2017 happened, and it was the best pay-per-view of the year if you only watch the first match and the last minute of the main event.
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And now, the Best and Worst of WWE Smackdown Live for October 10, 2017.
Best: Destined To Be Friends Forever
https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x642vum
This isn’t a heel turn. This is a double face turn.
I’m not sure what to type about this, unless I can type “happy clapping” and hit publish. I love that Sami Zayn “turned heel” by simply observing the world around him and reacting accordingly. He’s been dicked around by WWE general managers more than anyone over the past year or so, and after surviving the Mick Folian slash Braun Strowmanic nightmare of being on Raw, he finally came to the “land of opportunity” only to get passed over and quite literally ignored when he tried to speak up. Citing Shane McMahon telling him to buzz off last week is great, because that’s what Shane McMahon does. He’s a McMahon. He’s the one we’ve liked the most over the past 20 years, I guess, but the character’s still a self-indulgent, spotlight-hogging sociopath who got back onto these shows by trying to blackmail his dad, losing a match, and then getting to do what he would’ve done had he won anyway.
I also like how the recent interactions between Owens and Zayn have softened their relationship a little to set this up. Back when Owens needed a special guest referee, he went to Sami, because even if he hated his guts he was the only guy he could trust. That was important. Sami turned him down cold, because he just expected Owens to jump him again, like everyone else did. Later, when Owens gets “put in charge of Smackdown,” his first goal is to fire Sami Zayn. Not because of their longstanding rivalry, really, but almost directly because of that refusal. He even went backstage to find him and gloat about it, not totally because he’s a dick, but because maybe he wanted to find some normalcy in his suddenly chaotic life. The one constant of Kevin Owens has been “Sami Zayn’s on his ass and trying to fight him.” I think Zayn figured all this out, and figured out that the ref offer was as legit an olive branch as a shithead like Kevin Owens can muster, so he came around.
Seriously, Shane McMahon has been the least likeable character on television for a while now. Zayn was right; Shane had become crazy over Owens saying mean words to him to the point that he skipped his opportunity to win the Hell in a Cell match so he could climb up top and try to kill him. Or end his career, whatever. Now Shane’s gone, thanks to the combined efforts of Owens and Zayn, and they finally, finally realize they couldn’t have done something monumental without each other. And now they’re friends. Friends forever.
The best part of the entire promo is that even while Sami is praising Owens, saying he’s right and hugging him, Owens spends most of it looking like he’s getting ready for Sami to attack him. Because he’s bad at friendship, and this feeling of someone agreeing with him and thinking he’s right about stuff is unusual.
And when they stop being friends again, it’s going to make the Festival of Friendship look like a Big Show turn.
Worst: The Opposite Of Zayn/Owens
The most brutal segment of the night, and honestly the only outright “bad” thing on the entire show — thanks for trying this week, guys — is this Bobby Roode/Dolph Ziggler promo, which has been DEEPLY edited for WWE Fan Nation. If you saw the original version, you saw Bobby apparently forget his lines, and the two mumble-fight through more dead air than an A/C unit at a fucking graveyard.
The point is supposed to be that Ziggler claims Roode’s a fraud because he held his tights on the pin at Hell in a Cell, and the actual point is supposed to be that Roode was playing fair, Ziggler went for the tights first, and tit-for-tat or whatever. Roode’s response is just, “you want a rematch, you got it!” and that’s it. No character work, just a bunch of aimless complaining. Terrible. Watching Dolph mess with his weird straightened pony hair that makes him look like he’s dressed as Sexy Dana Brooke for Halloween isn’t helping.
Best: Tag Team Turmoil
This week’s show actually opens with an “Uce truce” between the Usos and the New Day, who finally give each other respect and admit that they’re way better than everyone else in the tag team division. This is all well and good for those teams, but it pissed off every other team on the show, which leads to the Promo Interruption Parade that lives or dies by how good the characters are. The good news: Smackdown’s tag team division is pretty diverse and entertaining.
Highlights include the Usos marking out for “a Shelton Benjamin” and still telling him to get to the back of the line, Breezango being annoyed that The Ascension keeps following them around, and the actual fatal four-way that results and gives Doggystyle Goro their first Tag Team Championship shot. Trust me, I wanted Breeze and Fandango to win too, but the Usos vs. Shelton Benjamin and Chad Gable is going to be ridiculous.
Thank you to the Usos for revitalizing this division and for being the best non-Canadian friendship thing on Smackdown, and to the New Day for letting someone else get a shot. Give me that Big E singles push already. What are we waiting for?
Best: THE BLUDGEON CURMUDGEONS
Speaking of Breezango, “2B” was finally, indirectly revealed as the repackaged Erick Rowan and Luke Harper, now carrying sledgehammers and calling themselves the Bludgeon Brothers. So they’re either a rejected Southpaw gimmick, or a Dark Souls boss. Tyler Breeze should attack them from the side, then roll to dodge. Like was already said on Twitter, I hope they wrestle iron man matches where their opponent has to lose repeatedly just to figure out how to get one win.
Hey, anything to get the homie Luke Harper back on TV. And at least they aren’t putting on face paint and putting lacey sheets over their heads like some cultist swampbillies I know. Man, how weird’s it gonna be when everyone from the Wyatt Family rules except for Bray Wyatt?
Eh: The Other Tag Team Match
The other tag team match on the show existed for two reasons:
- to give Shinsuke Nakamura a strong win after [checks notes] losing clean to Jinder Mahal? Seriously?
- letting Randy Orton beat up poor Rusev again
If you like Orton, you probably liked this. And to the credit of the pairing, Rusev does take a better RKO than anyone on the roster, I just wish he didn’t have to take it all the damn time. I hope Nakamura at least had a second to get excited for Okada and Naito in the main event of Wrestle Kingdom between losing to the worst member of 3MB and half beating the second best Vaudevillain.
Note: call the Orton and Nakamura team “Kingsnake” and put the Punch Pals of Rowan and Harper over them immediately.
WORST: STOP LETTING NATALYA TALK ON LIVE TELEVISION
Whats, the matter, Shar lett. Did you break, your pathetic, father’s, HEART A-GEN?
She can’t even say simple things like a human being. “[coughing sounds that are supposed to be laughter]! Very [long pause] funny-Carmella!” Also, is she in white face? Why’d they do her makeup like she’s a geisha?
Honestly, I just don’t feel like the women’s division on Smackdown makes a lot of sense right now. It’s a series of decisions I feel like none of us would make. You’ve got Charlotte Flair, the world’s most natural and pedigreed female heel, acting like a sympathetic babyface, selling injuries. Becky Lynch is right there. Why isn’t Becky just destroying everyone in the division? Becky and Naomi are just floating. And you’ve got Carmella, the first woman to ever hold a Money in the Bank briefcase — thanks to a guy, let’s remind you — losing all the time, which is what Money in the Bank people weirdly do. Having that briefcase makes you lose like, 75% of your matches, because they want you to be a “loser” to people so the cash-in is more surprising? I guess? Lana and Tamina are in a constant state of, “I have a plan to be women’s champion,” and Natalya is teh champion with tons of mic time who doesn’t seem to actually know or understand English and cuts promos like she’s just sounding out the words. She and Nakamura have the same cadence.
And let’s not forget that the only non-championship storyline in the division right now actually moving forward is James Ellsworth’s descent into being a kinky dog. Here’s an idea: move all the women to Raw, cut like five of them and use one of those extraneous hours to build actual, functioning, fully-formed divisions with your women and cruisers. A division isn’t a champion, a challenger and a bunch of people standing around.
Best: Baron Corbin Buys A Boat
Finally this week we have our main event, Baron Corbin vs. AJ Styles one-on-one for the United States Championship in the match they should’ve just had at the pay-per-view. I like Tye Dillinger as much as the next guy, but if you build an entire story out of Baron Corbin taking shortcuts and have Styles announce that the one-on-one match will prevent him from taking shortcuts, it’s pretty shortsighted to have the GM put a third guy in the match without any input from Corbin, allowing him to take a shortcut.
I thought this was much better, and Corbin wrestling a smart match and beating Styles clean did more for him than anything has since the damn Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal. He looked like an actual wrestler again, holding on to the ropes to avoid being taken over in the Calf Crusher, using his strength to muscle Styles around and — gasp — believably defeating a much better but also much smaller opponent with a big power move you’d expect to put a smaller guy down. Styles actually gets to put Corbin over now before going on to bigger and better things, which hopefully include “ending the nightmare of Jinder Mahal’s title run” and “making Nakamura’s situation less depressing.”
As an added bonus, stick around for Corbin’s amazing, hilarious, dumbass post-match promo where he says he’s going to use his championship winnings to buy a boat, and then use that boat to sail on a river of our tears. THIS is the Baron Corbin we’ve been missing and needing.
Best: Top 10 Comments Of The Week
Imperfectsbest
Corbin’s showing off the belt like a dude sending dick pics cause he got a penis enlargement
Mr. Bliss
Bobby, you can barely speak for yourself tonight, don’t try talking for the whole arena.
pdragon619
It’s Raw is War Machine!
And then Owens powerbombed St. Peter on the edge of the pearly gates (which is the hardest part of the gates)
AddMayne
Kevin’s inner thoughts: POWERBOMB POWERBOMB POWERBOMB POWERBOMB POWERBOMB POWERBOMB POWERBOMB POWERBOMB POWERBOMB POWERBOMB POWERBOMB POWERBOMB POWERBOMB POWERBOMB
Aerial Jesus
Even heel Sami seems like a really nice guy.
Baron Von Raschke
The way creative has treated Sami, I’m pretty much on his side no matter what he says here.
6forSorrow
I’d like to imagine Jim “The Anvil” Neidhart is sitting at home, listening to the announcers, and getting paranoid about if Natalya really is his daughter.
The Real Birdman
*Skanks angrily*
Overall, a much, much better show than the previous few weeks and the entire middle of Hell in a Cell. Characters are moving forward, things are being explained, matches are happening with consequences and clean finishes, and old relationships get re-contextualized and turned into something new. Let’s keep this going!
Be sure to drop us a comment to let us know if you agree, and share the column on your social media things to get more eyes on it. We appreciate it. Here’s to another surprisingly good week of WWE television! Can you imagine how much we’d love this stuff if it was good all the time?
