Lindsay Lohan’s big fancy Lifetime Original Movie Liz & Dick, in which she portrays Hollywood legend Elizabeth Taylor, is scheduled to premiere this November. (I say “scheduled to premiere” because I don’t think we can rule out the possibility that Lohan will, like, accidentally drive her Porsche through the building where Lifetime stores their films and destroy every copy of it in a fiery wreck. Not yet at least.) As part of their promotional campaign for the film, Lifetime released the official publicity poster earlier this week, and — as Vince touched on yesterday — it is buzzwordy. “CONTROVERSIAL.” “LOVE AFFAIRS.” “SCANDAL.” “CHILD STAR.” “PAPARAZZI.” It’s almost like they’re trying to tell us there’s some sort of parallel between Lindsay Lohan’s real life and the role she is playing in the film. I dunno, it’s all pretty subtle. Maybe one of you can explain it to me.
Anyway, I bring all this up because I just want you to know that I am really, really looking forward to this movie, and not because I give a sh-t about Lifetime’s depiction of the life and times Elizabeth Taylor. No, I am looking forward to this movie because I want it to be terrible. TERRIBLE. I’m talking “Rob Lowe with a luxurious blonde mustache saying ‘I’m untouchable, bitch’ in the trailer, Pauly Shore saving a stereotypically backwards Southern town through the power of designer moonshine” terrible. Those kinds of crappy made-for-TV movies are like my life force; I need one every 4-6 months or I will just shrivel up and die, and I wrote about the Pauly Shore one way back in May, so time is quickly running out. ONLY YOU CAN SAVE ME, LIFETIME.
via E! Online