Dancing with the Stars (ABC, 8 p.m.) – It’s time for America to do the Urkel Dance like it’s 1991 all over again. “If you want to do the Steve Urkel dance/All you have to do is hitch up your pants…”
How I Met Your Mother (CBS, 8 p.m.) – Hey, Monday night’s least obnoxious show is back! That is cause for celebration, even if the celebration won’t be as good as it would have been, say, three seasons ago.
The Voice (NBC, 8 p.m.) – Just an excuse to use this:
Alcatraz (Fox, 9 p.m.) – The Alcatraz Three are looking for a “musically inclined serial killer.” But does he DANCE?
Smash (NBC, 10 p.m.) – It’s time for Marilyn: The Musical to be presented to investors, in the hopes of getting some $$$ support, but really: Katharine McPhee.
LATE NIGHT GUESTS: Michelle Obama on Letterman; Armie Hammer on Leno (it’s like white bread interviewing white rice); Jessica Simpson and Gael Garcia Bernal on Kimmel; Anne Rice on Ferguson; January Jones and Jeffrey Tambor on Fallon; and Ewan McGregor on Conan.