The MAGA-thirsting insurrectionist crowd just keeps offering up completely moronic, admittedly funny excuses for trying to topple American Democracy on Jan. 6th.
The latest rioter to play dumb when law enforcement came knocking is retired New Jersey State Trooper Michael Daniele. Daniele was captured busting down police barricades and entering the Capitol building on videos posted to various social media accounts before an officer with the New Jersey State Police’s Cyber Intelligence Unit identified him as a former comrade. Naturally, the FBI had some questions and, in a recently released affidavit, Daniele had some ridiculous excuses for his behavior.
According to agents who visited Daniele’s home to get his side of the story before drawing up charges against him, the retired officer’s reason for trampling metal fences, ignoring the orders of the Capitol Police, and breaching the building by way of shattered windows and bulldozed doors was totally innocent: he just needed to visit the whiz palace.
“He stated that he walked with the crowd toward the Capitol and passed over fallen pedestrian barricades on the way,” the report reads. “He observed police using ‘flash bangs’ and riot control agents to disperse the crowd. Daniele admitted that he ultimately entered the Capitol building through a broken doorway that was next to a broken window. According to Daniele, he only entered one large space of the building and after looking for a bathroom and not finding one, he left thereafter.”
Is it on brand for Trump to not shell out for some public portapotties for his own rally? Sure, but there had to be better bathroom options than a ransacked, mob-infested federal building. The good news? He’ll have 24/7 access to a toilet in prison.
(Via The Daily Beast)