PLAXICO BURRESS

Michael Vick Thinks Real Life is ‘The Longest Yard’

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Michael Vick wants the Philadelphia Eagles to sign Plaxico Burress.

Spotlight

Cleveland Finally Wins: Hillis Defeats Vick For Madden 2012 Cover

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<a href="http://espn.go.com/sportsnation/feature/madden2012cover"> LeBron who? That fellow never won sh*t for Ohio to really brag about. Make way for Browns running back <a href="http://smokingsection.uproxx.com/TSS/tag/peyton-hillis">Peyton Hillis</a>, 2012’s Madden curse victim.

#video games

Peyton’s Place

By | 6 Comments

Hey Cleveland, get ready for another excuse for why you never win anything: Browns running back Peyton Hillis is the <a href="http://espn.go.com/sportsnation/feature/madden2012cover">face of Madden NFL 12</a>.

peyton hillis

It’s Peyton vs. Vick For ‘Madden 12′ Cover. Not That Peyton…

By | 5 Comments

Electronic Arts's bracket, designed to select a cover athlete for the next Madden game, <a href="http://profootballtalk.nbcsports.com/2011/04/18/its-hillis-vs-vick-for-the-madden-12-cover/related">has finally reached its championship round</a>.

STILL BETTER THAN 'AMERICAN IDOL'

Will Danny Woodhead Be On The Next ‘Madden’ Cover?

By | 8 Comments

Instead of picking a cover athlete for their 24th edition of the Madden NFL video game series, the powers that be at Electronic Arts have passed the decision onto the fans, in the form of a 32-athlete bracket.

THE COOLER

3.21 The Cooler

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Kali Lynn AT&T Buying T-Mobile For $39 Billion <a href="http://www.businessinsider.com/att-buys-t-mobile-2011-3">[Silicon Valley Insider]</a> Good Black Samaritan Fights Guy For Hitting Woman On Bus <a href="http://theurbandaily.com/special-features/wtf-special-features/shamika-sanders/good-samaritan-fights-guy-for-hitting-woman-on-bus-atlanta-marta-line-bus-fight/">[TUD]</a> Tiger Woods’ Ex-Wife Purchases New Home Worth Over $12 Million <a href="http://network.yardbarker.com/golf/article_external/tiger_woods_ex_wife_has_a_new_home_worth_over_12_million/4416963">[Yardbarker]</a> Porn Sites Get New.

PHILADELPHIA EAGLES

Michael Vick Bailed On Oprah’s Show

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Oprah Winfrey is without a doubt the most powerful woman in the world, 1 million times stronger than a Voltron of Jewish mothers.

PHILADELPHIA EAGLES

Michael Vick Heading To Oprah

By | 8 Comments

Philadelphia Eagles quarterback Michael Vick (as opposed to <a href="http://www.greenvilleguitaracademy.com/?page_id=68">South Carolina guitar instructor Michael Vick</a>) has agreed to appear on Oprah Winfrey's famed talk show, currently in what Winfrey has proclaimed will be its final season.

PHILADELPHIA EAGLES

Mark Buehrle Wanted Michael Vick To Get Hurt

By | 11 Comments

Everyone knows Mark Buehrle and his wife love dogs.

PHILADELPHIA EAGLES

Vick Gets Key To The City Of Dallas. Really

By

Michael Vick was given the key to the city of Dallas last week, which is fine as long as he isn't depriving that key of food and water to make it aggressive toward other keys.

TOM BRADY

Big Ben Is Super Bowl’s Most Hated

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The other day, as I was doing pushups at the request of Blake Lively, I was informed of the existence of something called The Hollywood Reporter and a recent survey it conducted regarding Super Bowl XLV.

PRO BOWL

HelmetCam Lives…Sorta

By | 6 Comments

Michael Vick tried out what has to be some sort of demo helmetcam in <a href="http://www.nfl.com/videos/nfl-pro-bowl/09000d5d81df34f8/Eagle-eye-Vick-helmet-cam">the NFC's practice</a> for the Pro Bowl earlier this week.

PRODUCT ENDORSEMENTS

Mike Vick Is Endorsing Products Again

By | 9 Comments

When Philadelphia Eagles quarterback Michael Vick injured his chest against the Washington Redskins earlier this season (above), Unequal Technologies came to the rescue with a special set of pads that would lessen the chances that he’d suffer an even more serious injury upon his return.

Unequal Technologies

Mike Vick Signs A New Endorsement Deal

By | 13 Comments

<a href="http://smokingsection.uproxx.com/TSS/?p=164999"> The next stanza in Mike Vick's redemption song begins. <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/01/26/michael-vick-first-endorsement_n_814126.html">HuffPo:</a> "Vick has signed his first endorsement contract since his release from prison.

TUCKER CARLSON

Charles Barkley Has A Problem With Tucker Carlson

By | 9 Comments

Last week, Tucker Carlson’s spinning bowtie propelled him back into the news after he said that Philadelphia Eagles quarterback Michael Vick should have been executed for his role in a dog fighting ring.

#jimmy fallon

Jimmy Fallon Did The Pro Bowl Shuffle

By | 6 Comments

Last week, Jimmy Fallon paid tribute to the NFL’s most worthless event with a musical number called the <a href="http://www.latenightwithjimmyfallon.com/blogs/2011/01/the-pro-bowl-shuffle/">Pro Bowl Shuffle</a>.

WORLD CUP

They Are Who We Thought They Were: The Best Sports Moments Of 2010

By | 17 Comments

While the entirety of the mainstream media began releasing Best Of lists in the first week of December, I wanted to wait as long as I possibly could to create my own, because of, you know, all of the games that take place throughout December.

#FOX NEWS

Tucker Carlson Thinks Vick Should Die

By | 20 Comments

Fresh off the news that President Barack Obama called Philadelphia Eagles owner Jeffrey Lurie to commend him for giving Michael Vick a second chance, as well as Vick and Tom Brady leading the Pro Bowl voting, Fox News bowtie enthusiast Tucker Carlson gave his own opinions on the trials and tribulations of the Eagles QB last night when he filled in for the universally beloved gentleman scholar Sean Hannity on Hannity Live.

VINCE YOUNG

Coming To Theaters: The Madden Curse

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When Hollywood studios aren’t insulting us with films based on <a href="http://filmdrunk.uproxx.com/2009/11/sony-takes-a-risk-of-being-retarded">Candyland</a> and <a href="http://filmdrunk.uproxx.com/2009/06/seven-figures-for-wheres-waldo">Where’s Waldo?</a>, they’re making terrible sports movies about dogs that can play football and Freddie Prinze Jr.

VIDEOS

Your NFL Recap: Week 15

By | 30 Comments

<a href="http://smokingsection.uproxx.com/TSS/?p=155791"> Chokers. What else do you call the New York Giants after yesterday’s fiasco? At home, in an epic battle for NFC supremacy, the Giants had total control over the rival Eagles with a three touchdown lead in the second half. Plenty of time though, for Michael Vick to go into Madden mode. Vick gashed the previously ferocious Giants D with improvised rollouts and runs. A Vick to Jeremy Maclin touchdown with two minutes left leveled the game. After a failed Giants drive, the teams were a punt out of bounds away from overtime. But Giants punter Matt Dodge had other ideas, inexplicably kicking to the always dangerous DeSean Jackson. A sliver of space was all Jackson needed to run to glory. Head coach Tom Coughlin was sure to publicly humiliate his player post-game, deflecting from the fact that his team suffered a total collapse. A tough game at Green Bay looms and it remains to be seen if the Giants can make the playoffs and Coughlin can keep his job, particularly with <a href="http://newyork.cbslocal.com/2010/12/20/report-giants-on-bill-cowhers-wish-list/">Bill Cowher openly asking</a> for it.


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