Michael Vick wants the Philadelphia Eagles to sign Plaxico Burress.

<a href="http://espn.go.com/sportsnation/feature/madden2012cover"> LeBron who? That fellow never won sh*t for Ohio to really brag about. Make way for Browns running back <a href="http://smokingsection.uproxx.com/TSS/tag/peyton-hillis">Peyton Hillis</a>, 2012’s Madden curse victim.

Hey Cleveland, get ready for another excuse for why you never win anything: Browns running back Peyton Hillis is the <a href="http://espn.go.com/sportsnation/feature/madden2012cover">face of Madden NFL 12</a>.

Electronic Arts's bracket, designed to select a cover athlete for the next Madden game, <a href="http://profootballtalk.nbcsports.com/2011/04/18/its-hillis-vs-vick-for-the-madden-12-cover/related">has finally reached its championship round</a>.

Instead of picking a cover athlete for their 24th edition of the Madden NFL video game series, the powers that be at Electronic Arts have passed the decision onto the fans, in the form of a 32-athlete bracket.

Kali Lynn AT&T Buying T-Mobile For $39 Billion <a href="http://www.businessinsider.com/att-buys-t-mobile-2011-3">[Silicon Valley Insider]</a> Good Black Samaritan Fights Guy For Hitting Woman On Bus <a href="http://theurbandaily.com/special-features/wtf-special-features/shamika-sanders/good-samaritan-fights-guy-for-hitting-woman-on-bus-atlanta-marta-line-bus-fight/">[TUD]</a> Tiger Woods’ Ex-Wife Purchases New Home Worth Over $12 Million <a href="http://network.yardbarker.com/golf/article_external/tiger_woods_ex_wife_has_a_new_home_worth_over_12_million/4416963">[Yardbarker]</a> Porn Sites Get New.

Oprah Winfrey is without a doubt the most powerful woman in the world, 1 million times stronger than a Voltron of Jewish mothers.

Philadelphia Eagles quarterback Michael Vick (as opposed to <a href="http://www.greenvilleguitaracademy.com/?page_id=68">South Carolina guitar instructor Michael Vick</a>) has agreed to appear on Oprah Winfrey's famed talk show, currently in what Winfrey has proclaimed will be its final season.

Everyone knows Mark Buehrle and his wife love dogs.

Michael Vick was given the key to the city of Dallas last week, which is fine as long as he isn't depriving that key of food and water to make it aggressive toward other keys.

The other day, as I was doing pushups at the request of Blake Lively, I was informed of the existence of something called The Hollywood Reporter and a recent survey it conducted regarding Super Bowl XLV.

Michael Vick tried out what has to be some sort of demo helmetcam in <a href="http://www.nfl.com/videos/nfl-pro-bowl/09000d5d81df34f8/Eagle-eye-Vick-helmet-cam">the NFC's practice</a> for the Pro Bowl earlier this week.

When Philadelphia Eagles quarterback Michael Vick injured his chest against the Washington Redskins earlier this season (above), Unequal Technologies came to the rescue with a special set of pads that would lessen the chances that he’d suffer an even more serious injury upon his return.

<a href="http://smokingsection.uproxx.com/TSS/?p=164999"> The next stanza in Mike Vick's redemption song begins. <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/01/26/michael-vick-first-endorsement_n_814126.html">HuffPo:</a> "Vick has signed his first endorsement contract since his release from prison.

Last week, Tucker Carlson’s spinning bowtie propelled him back into the news after he said that Philadelphia Eagles quarterback Michael Vick should have been executed for his role in a dog fighting ring.

Last week, Jimmy Fallon paid tribute to the NFL’s most worthless event with a musical number called the <a href="http://www.latenightwithjimmyfallon.com/blogs/2011/01/the-pro-bowl-shuffle/">Pro Bowl Shuffle</a>.

While the entirety of the mainstream media began releasing Best Of lists in the first week of December, I wanted to wait as long as I possibly could to create my own, because of, you know, all of the games that take place throughout December.

Fresh off the news that President Barack Obama called Philadelphia Eagles owner Jeffrey Lurie to commend him for giving Michael Vick a second chance, as well as Vick and Tom Brady leading the Pro Bowl voting, Fox News bowtie enthusiast Tucker Carlson gave his own opinions on the trials and tribulations of the Eagles QB last night when he filled in for the universally beloved gentleman scholar Sean Hannity on Hannity Live.

When Hollywood studios aren’t insulting us with films based on <a href="http://filmdrunk.uproxx.com/2009/11/sony-takes-a-risk-of-being-retarded">Candyland</a> and <a href="http://filmdrunk.uproxx.com/2009/06/seven-figures-for-wheres-waldo">Where’s Waldo?</a>, they’re making terrible sports movies about dogs that can play football and Freddie Prinze Jr.

<a href="http://smokingsection.uproxx.com/TSS/?p=155791"> Chokers. What else do you call the New York Giants after yesterday’s fiasco? At home, in an epic battle for NFC supremacy, the Giants had total control over the rival Eagles with a three touchdown lead in the second half. Plenty of time though, for Michael Vick to go into Madden mode. Vick gashed the previously ferocious Giants D with improvised rollouts and runs. A Vick to Jeremy Maclin touchdown with two minutes left leveled the game. After a failed Giants drive, the teams were a punt out of bounds away from overtime. But Giants punter Matt Dodge had other ideas, inexplicably kicking to the always dangerous DeSean Jackson. A sliver of space was all Jackson needed to run to glory. Head coach Tom Coughlin was sure to publicly humiliate his player post-game, deflecting from the fact that his team suffered a total collapse. A tough game at Green Bay looms and it remains to be seen if the Giants can make the playoffs and Coughlin can keep his job, particularly with <a href="http://newyork.cbslocal.com/2010/12/20/report-giants-on-bill-cowhers-wish-list/">Bill Cowher openly asking</a> for it.