Philadephia Eagles Will Be The Best Team Since 1980 Soviet Hockey

The Philadelphia Eagles are going to be good. Anyone with a basic understanding of pro football could tell you that. The problem is that the one group of people who shouldn’t be telling you that is the Philadelphia Eagles themselves, and oh man, those guys cannot stop telling you how great they’re going to be.

Newly-arrived back-up quarterback Vince Young was the first to provide the team with the soundbites and complexly-arrogant sentences sports writers like me need to reference late in the season when a team is losing to someone who didn’t say anything. Via Philadelphia Sports Daily:

“Dream Team … From Nnamdi [Asomugha] to [Dominique Rodgers-]Cromartie, to Jason [Babin] to myself … I know they are going to do some more things. … It’s just beautiful to see where we’re trying to go.”

If that wasn’t bad enough, defensive end Jason Babin jumped on Twitter and gave the Eagles the official kiss of death.

I mean, at least the Dream Team won. The Tweet prompted 100+ responses, almost exclusively negative, ranging from the understanding “@JasonBabin93 except eagles will take the championship?” to the ready-for-Onion-Sportsdome “@JasonBabin93 do you mean only looks great on paper & can only play 3 quarters?” All we need now is for Michael Vick to push a sweatband up across the top of his scalp and humblebrag about how the Eagles are going to win not five, not six, not seven championships.

I swear, how hard is it to build a huge boat and NOT tell everyone you know that it’s unsinkable?