UPDATE: Elmo has addressed the feud. See below. This is journalism now.
In case you can’t tell that we’ve all been trapped inside for way too long, the internet is losing its mind after recently discovering that John Oliver’s twin and lovable Muppet Elmo has been trapped in a brutal feud with Zoe’s pet rock, Rocco, on Sesame Street. To put it mildly, Elmo would fire the damn thing into the sun if he had the chance. As for how social media latched onto the battle of the ages, it’s all thanks to a random clip from the children’s program that shows Elmo losing his Muppet mind after Zoe refused to give him a cookie because Rocco wanted it. Elmo flipped, y’all.
https://twitter.com/wumbooty/status/1478193742075023365
According to USA Today‘s For The Win, the feud between puppet and rock has been simmering for ages, and when it comes right down to it, poor Elmo is being gaslit:
Why does Elmo hate this rock?
The rock is always getting in Elmo’s way, man. Zoe treats the rock like it’s an actual person on the show when we all know it’s not. It’s not a real person. It doesn’t need people things.
We know that. The kids know that. Elmo knows that. The only one who doesn’t know it is Zoe. She’s tripping, y’all. Elmo is right.
Despite Elmo clearly being psychologically tortured by an inanimate object, the internet had a freaking field day watching the little guy mentally die inside after being repeatedly forced to pretend that a pet rock is real. Who would do this to such a sweet, lovable friend like Elmo? Yes, his voice is annoying and conjures up images of murder, but he knows what’s real and what isn’t, dammit.
Elmo wanted answers. https://t.co/OpHW00Tf4S
— Matthew A. Cherry (@MatthewACherry) January 4, 2022
https://twitter.com/Sangojourn3y/status/1478726569061408769
"HOW??? HOW IS ROCKO GONNA EAT THAT COOKIE ZOE? TELL ELMO—ROCKO DOESN'T EVEN HAVE A MOUTH. ROCKO'S JUST A ROCK. ROCKO'S NOT ALIVE!!!" https://t.co/EViAMovNPR pic.twitter.com/zAHD8UsNmw
— Halloween XII: The Malewife of Michael Myers (@Tuxyydo) January 4, 2022
elmo is fed the fuck up 😂😂😂😂 https://t.co/uU9zjJiFkU
— Shea Serrano (@SheaSerrano) January 4, 2022
Elmo to Rocko every time Zoe mentioned him. https://t.co/HsmkS4BR8h pic.twitter.com/ziHslAnOyl
— Kevin Lewis (@kdotlew3H) January 5, 2022
I'm with Elmo on this one. Fuck Rocco he can go to hell https://t.co/l7FOnDvIe8
— 🐧✨America Is Musty✨🐧 (@DragonflyJonez) January 4, 2022
Elmo when Zoe brings Rocko to his 21st birthday party pic.twitter.com/HOcwIhc2mX
— King of Shenanigans ☕️ (@BTrusty504ever) January 4, 2022
Elmo chimed in on the feud after publication of this story:
Has anybody ever seen a rock eat a cookie? Elmo is just curious.
— Elmo (@elmo) January 5, 2022
It’s a fair point.