For weeks, Donald Trump has been promising to unleash his medical report. The fateful day has arrived with a clean bill of Trump health. However, the internet appears be more entranced by Trump’s doctor. Harold Bornstein’s own website describes him as a Yale-educated gastroenterology and internal medicine master, who is licensed by the state of New York. His father, Jacob, was once the Trump family doc. Sadly, Jacob passed away five years ago, and Harold took over the business. On Monday, Bornstein delivered this message (“to whom my concern”) to the voting masses.
So, Trump would “unequivocally” be the “healthiest individual ever elected” to the office of president. His stated blood pressure is 110/65, which is hard to believe for a guy who yells so much. All lab tests turned out “astonishingly excellent,” and Trump has no history of cancer, orthopedic surgery, or substance abuse. We can be happy for Trump, who is happy for himself.
Now, onto more pressing matters. Harold Bornstein appears a bit mysterious. He may have his own Twitter account, which is written entirely in Italian. Whatever the case, this is Harold Bernstein in all his fancy-haired glory. Keep scrolling for the payoff and many comebacks that follow.
Oh, this is just brutal. Brent Spiner never asked for this comparison.
Meanwhile, the Twitter jokes are pouring in from all corners of the political spectrum. People are pulling out Obama jokes, dealing satire, and dumping on Trump. Much like Harold Bornstein’s bill of clean health for Trump, the #TrumpDoctor tag is riding high.
This guy wonders whether Trump and his doctor are in fact the same person.