Those life-hack lists are fun, right? You can breeze through 20 clever ideas in just a few minutes, maybe making a mental note to try one or two. Next thing you know, all your cables are organized with binder clips, your keys are color-coded with nail polish, and you’ve got pre-mixed pancake batter in an old Heinz bottle. Life solved!
Except that sometimes these hacks are much better in theory than in practice — as in the case of the old “turn your toaster sideways to make a cheese on toast” move (endorsed in a Guardian column by Jamie Oliver). Here’s an idea that makes sense: You’re essentially turning the toaster’s heating coils into a Salamander broiler.
But there’s a pretty obvious problem — anyone who has ever used a toaster knows that toasters suck at being hacked. They are shockingly cheap because the technology is insanely simple, but they’re also only really able to handle one job: toasting bread.
Most toasters can barely manage a bagel, so putting the thing on its side and expecting it to operate as normal is absurd. As life hackers are beginning to discover…
But surely, this is just a solitary case of one person doing it all wrong.
Fine, two people…
Make that four because last week, Brit Suzanne Dale was trying this hack when sparks and flames started licking her cabinetry. Luckily, Dale was able to get the toaster outside before any real damage was caused (besides the damage to her ego at having her ensuing Facebook status shared a few thousand times).
“Luckily, I live in a house and have a garden,” Dale told the Manchester Evening News (via Telegraph UK), “but if it was anyone living in a flat or somebody who was less agile, who couldn’t get out as quick, they were real flames, it could be dangerous.”
The situation was troublesome enough that the London Fire Brigade tweeted a warning and the Guardian updated Jamie Oliver’s article.
Which makes this as good a time as any to remind people that CHEESE ON TOAST IS ALREADY EASY AS SH*T TO MAKE! LOOK INSIDE YOUR OVEN — SEE THE BROILER COILS? IT’S LIKE A SIDEWAYS TOASTER!
When in doubt, stick to the Life Hacks that can’t cause costly damage — besides the damage to your reputation when people at work catch you storing your bagels in a CD spindle.