Previously on The Best and Worst of NXT: Wow, it’s been a while, hasn’t it? NXT TakeOver: London happened, and the last new episode was the bonus hour from it. That gave us the in-ring return of Sami Zayn, Chad Gable and Jason Jordan being British folk legends and the NXT announce team having no idea what the Fourth Doctor looked like. Two Best of 2015 specials later, and here we are. A new year, and real shows!
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And now, the Best and Worst of WWE NXT for January 13, 2016.
Best: History Of The World
NXT opens with William Regal returning from neck surgery, announcing a battle royal for the night’s main event, and welcoming Sami Zayn back to Full Sail. I’m not sure you can design an opening segment I like more on a wrestling show, unless you go full Lucha and have a pissed-off ninja skeleton summoning his dark master in a dojo to help him assassinate a vampire. Even then I’d be like, “that’s awesome, but Sami.”
Aside from the basic joy of seeing characters I love, what I liked the most about the opening segment is how NXT isn’t afraid of its own history, and uses it to make what’s happening now seem more important. Raw and Smackdown love to do the “one guy’s talking, oh no someone interrupted him, oh no someone interrupted them” thing, but it rarely makes sense. It’s just guys getting their verbal sh*t in. “Here’s exposition.” “Well, here is an insult!” “Catchphrase!”
Let’s break down why this opening works so brilliantly. First, you’ve got Sami Zayn’s return. He gives us an adorable callback — The Zayniacs — and clearly states without a lot of bullsh*t why he’s here: he wants to become the first 2-time NXT Champion. He helped build NXT, and while it’s kinda funny to hear him babyface a statement Kevin Owens would use to get heat, he’s right. Hell, the first Best and Worst of NXT report was for Sami’s debut. He built this site’s interpretation of NXT, at least. He’s interrupted by Samoa Joe, who brings up the very valid point that the last time Sami was in the ring fighting for the belt, Joe had to show up and save his life. Joe just lost his big title opportunity, so he’s looking to lash out, and Sami’s an easy target. They get interrupted by Baron Corbin, who throws shade at Zayn for getting injured, accurately points out that he’s gotten much better since Sami went on the shelf, and inserts himself into the title conversation. Joe brings up the fact that he choked Corbin out in Brooklyn. That happened FIVE MONTHS AGO, which is a decade in WWE main roster time.
What does that leave us with? Three guys with valid points and differing, conflicting alignments and something to prove. William Regal sets up a triple threat between them for two weeks from now, because NXT makes sense and I love it with my whole heart.
Best: The Right Kind Of Awards Show
Speaking of things I love about NXT, check out how they presented their year-end awards.
From the Best and Worst of Raw 12/21/15:
When the Slammy Awards started, they were kind of a wink wink nudge nudge statement on stodgy awards shows. The WWF was like, “what if we did an awards show but made it FUN and 80s WRESTLING WEIRD?” That’s why we had sh*t like Vince McMahon doing grand musical numbers. Now all the self-awareness is gone, the entire thing’s decided by app votes, and it is, essentially, a company receiving awards from itself.
WWE will compromise a 3-hour Raw to go through the motions of an imaginary awards show, where the only thing anybody’s talking about the next day were, “were those awards legit?” The award show stuff messes up the matches, and the matches mess up the awards stuff. It never works. On NXT, they devote their entire awards presentation to a single video package, wherein they announce the categories, show clips of the winners, and show the winners expressing their appreciation. BOOM, DONE.
It’s perfect. The only thing you want to know about awards is who won them. The rest is masturbatory. This video package made the awards and the winners seem important, put over the process of voting as legitimate because it wasn’t smothered in wacky pageantry, and made it feel like performers actually being appreciated for their work. Beautifully done, even if Bayley was robbed for Overall Performer Of The Year.
Best: Let’s Just Hit Each Other Really Hard
Somewhere there’s a guy on the Internet ready to jump up my ass for saying I didn’t expect to enjoy a Tommaso Ciampa/Danny Burch match, but I didn’t. I’ve never been a big fan of Ciampa’s — I don’t think he’s a bad wrestler by any means, he’s just not my bag, and there are like 7-too-many jumping slapping legs per match — but I love that they continued the “willing to hit and be hit as hard as possible” vibe from Joe/Ciampa and turned it around in Ciampa’s favor. Now he’s not just a guy willing to go toe-to-toe with Joe, he’s a guy willing to go that hard against ANYBODY, and the tactile violence and sense of urgency makes matches like this one against Burch seem vital. For real, it’s basically a 3-minute squash for Ciampa, but it’s got the crowd going OOOOOH at basic strikes. That’s pretty cool.
I don’t know if I love that armbar, though. I’m calling it the Dis-Arm-Him, whether that joke’s already been made or not. It doesn’t … totally make sense for me. The bridge keeps the weight off your opponent’s back and shoulder, which in theory is the only thing keeping them from just rolling over and relieving the pressure. On top of that, adding the flip in the direction they’d roll BEFORE the bridge just looks like it should give them a chance to roll with you. Does that make sense? Maybe I’m underestimating the torque on the shoulder. I don’t know, I think the Becky Lynch version where she’s sitting with all her weight on your shoulder to keep you from going anywhere works a lot better. Bullsh*t wrestling holds are fine, I’m just nit-picking.
Worst: Second Verse, Same As The First
The low-point of the show for me was the second match from Acoustic Fandango. He faces Corey Hollis, which appears to be about as challenging as defeating Tiny Tim from A Christmas Carol.
The match in London will Bull Dempsey didn’t show us much, and this one shows us even less. The top rope leg drop has been replaced with a neckbreaker. Not a fancy neckbreaker, not even a Rude Awakening … a normal, spinning neckbreaker. He didn’t even Shake and Rattle it before he Rolled. It’s sold on how quickly he does it — look at the intensity! — but bro, that is a swinging neckbreaker. Granted, I’m the asshole who’d pop if Bull started beating people with those old-timey headlocks where you clap your hands together and wrench it in all tight, but 15 years of watching WWE saddle people with “Roll The Dice” isn’t helping me buy a Roll The Dice reduction.
Part of what’s bothering me about the character is that it doesn’t seem like anybody knows what it is. The announcers are like “what does he MEAN he’s a DRIFTER?” Corey Graves says Samson won’t talk to him, so he can’t get any answers. They keep calling him a “man of few words,” even though he’s a singer, and his post-match promo is “what this place needs is what I am!” WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU, THEN. So far you’re “guy with a guitar,” without the “hits people with the guitar” followup. “Quiet guy with hobbies” is not a wrestling character.
Best: Dash & Dawson Are Impervious To Heel Miscommunication
I’m worried that the Ascension might not be long for the world. It’s like they’re doing a farewell tour. I guess “worried” is a strong word.
They face Dash and Dawson, and it’s notable for two things. One, the finish involves something that would cause an argument or some kind of failure in 99% of WWE tag teams. Konnor inadvertently knocks Dawson backwards into the ropes, where he collides elbow-to-head with Wilder and knocks him off the apron. Instead of being weird about it, they take advantage of the fact that it was technically a tag … Dawson goes right into position for the Shatter Machine, and Wilder catches the cue and slides into place to finish it. It’s GREAT. Two, that might be the best Shatter Machine I’ve seen the pull off.
Best/Worst: Pre-Match Comments
Okay, so the main event of the show is a battle royal to name a new #1 contender to the NXT Women’s Championship. Throughout they show they give a small amount of promo time to everyone in the match, which is a GREAT idea. It gives everyone a second to say something and get across their characters and motivations, and covers a lot of talent in a short period of time. What’s even better about it is that it accidentally exposes how woefully unready most of these women are for speaking into a television camera, and how underdeveloped their characters are. That sounds like a complaint, but no.
There are two major highlights:
1. Eva Marie pumping her fist when she finds out Nia Jax won’t be in the battle royal, which is as close to acting as Eva’s ever gotten. They should kayfabe it so that Bayley’s guillotine choke ruptured Nia’s vocal cords and she can never talk again. No character in NXT would be helped by “not talking” as much as Nia.
2. Cameron: “I’m going to be the winner and the number one contender for the women’s battle royal.” She can’t remember the end of a sentence long enough to get to the end of a sentence. “YOU’RE GONNA BE STARING DOWN AT THE MAT WHEN I PIN YOU ON YOUR STOMACH AND BECOME THE NEW NXT MATCH.”
I’m trying to figure out who’s closest to having a workable character, Billie Kay or Peyton Royce. Royce is the “venus flytrap” of NXT, and says things like (and I’m paraphrasing), “I haven’t gotten many opportunities so tonight I’m going to take the opportunity and make it my opportunity!” She is still smelling that one flower. Billie Kay says she’s going to bring NXT to its knees, but as far as I know her character is, “I bought a belt with my name on it and I’m not sure how to wear it.”
+1 to Deonna Purrazzo for using “you may remember me from such films as GETTING KNOCKED OUT” as a reason she’s going to beat everyone at once.
Best: The Battle Royal
Battle royals are the best, and this was no exception. I really enjoyed Bayley’s interview where she hugged Rich Brennan (who really needs to attack Tom Phillips from behind with a lead pipe and get his job back) and said she was jealous, because she wanted to be in the battle royal too. Here’s how it broke down for me:
– First of all, this shot is gorgeous:
Playing Eva and Asuka against each other is brilliant, because they’re the very opposite ends of the spectrum. Asuka has all the cred in the world. Eva has none of it. They’re both redheads with big coats and fancy lights. Having Eva show up, get immediately overshadowed by Asuka and have to walk down to the ring in front of her with a sad look on her face was pretty amazing, as was Asuka bumping her out of the way. It’s only a babyface move because it’s to Eva Marie, which speaks for how perfectly they’ve molded our image of her. Eva starting the match by trying to big league Asuka and getting kicked in the face and incapacitated for the ENTIRE MATCH was inspired. Also, a great way to keep Eva Marie out of a match.
– All the love in the world to NXT for doing a women’s battle royal and still saying you have to throw people over the top rope to win. Those Raw and Smackdown battle royals where you’re out if you touch the ground for any reason blow, and there’s no excitement in seeing people get eliminated THROUGH the ropes. Going over the top is the entire point. It’s like doing a cage match without throwing anybody into the cage, which … uh, they also do.
– Oh, Cameron. That powerbomb attempt from Liv Morgan that turned into a Diamondhead was rough. Alexa Bliss getting thunderous cheers for throwing her to hell was great.
– The fakeout at the end was so good. The entire crowd knew that Eva was on the outside and not eliminated, because paying attention to Eva and moderating her is Full Sail’s #1 goal. The same thing happened to Carmella, which got the announce team dwelling on how Carmella wasn’t eliminated, and made them forget about Eva. It worked in reverse for the live crowd and the people watching at home. With everyone’s wires crossed and everyone expecting someone to show up from outside the ring at the last second and win the match, Eva rushing in to dump Asuka worked perfectly. It got Full Sail reacting a certain way — you see Eva, you expect her to get sh*tty opportunities she doesn’t deserve, like winning a battle royal without being in the battle royal — and got them popping HUGE for Carmella’s bonus swerve. Super smart, and really exciting.
Now comes the question … does Carmella realize her destiny and turn on Bayley like everyone else, or is the more interesting story what Bayley will do in a championship match against a friend who DIDN’T turn on her? I think that’s the money. Bayley will go all the way to defeat Sasha or Charlotte or Nia Jax, but is she gonna throw a guillotine on her friend to finish her off?
