Previously on the Best and Worst of WWE NXT: Shinsuke Nakamura told Bobby Roode he looks like a shiba inu in probably the most accurate burn in NXT history. Also on the show, Shane Thorne got called “tilapia” by The Revival and then got severely injured, proving I guess that he’s tilapia.
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And now, the Best and Worst of WWE NXT for January 25, 2017.
Best/Worst: Get Busy Livin’
Up first this week is Carmella’s Nobody Liv Morgan challenging Ember Moon, because the joke is that her name’s “Liv” but she’s always trying to die. The idea is that Liv wants to prove she’s come a long way since losing to Asuka in under 20 seconds, and she succeeds here by having her hand held so hard and walking through what’s certainly the best televised match of her career.
The problem with Liv, I guess, is that she’s athletically competent but really just isn’t there yet. She doesn’t seem to get that if you’re gonna be a scrappy, downtrodden babyface, you’ve got to sell, sometimes. She needs to watch some Shawn Michaels tapes and learn that if you want to make a dramatic kip-up part of your comeback, you’ve gotta learn how to do it with emphasis and emotion. You can’t just kip up and start dancing around in circles because it’s your time to win this part of the fake wrestling match. It feels regressive to just call her Carmella Light over and over, but Carmella did the same thing in NXT. She’d get beaten up, and then when it was time to hit her moves she’d just be totally fine and moonwalking until she got hit again. I don’t need her selling the fingers like she’s Dynamite Kid or whatever, but at least look like your two states of existence aren’t “dead” and “freshly minted.”
Still, though, it’s the best Liv Morgan match so far, and she’s at least making some progress. Ember Moon kinda sorta specializes in wrestling good-to-great matches against peer talent that isn’t half as good as her, so bringing that to WWE should be extremely helpful for them. I hope TakeOver’s women’s fatal four-way ends with her somehow managing to Eclipse all four women without ever touching the ground.
Also, +1 to Ember for showing SPORTSMANFRIENDSHIP after the match. NXT might be the only WWE product that understands babyfaces should be reasonable, likeable people.
Best Ever: Great Job, Rod
My favorite moment of the episode goes to El Hijo del Nick Miler, Roderick Strong, interrupting Andrade ‘Cien’ Almas with, “why don’t you punch me IN MY FACE,” then getting punched in the face and left lying. It’s pretty much the CM Punk/Shannon Moore ECW confrontation with more tongue between the teeth.
Worst: The Tugboat Memorial Terrible Character Battle Royal
Up next is the conclusion of the BLOOD FEUD~ between former friends (apparently) No Way Jose and Kona Reeves. If you aren’t familiar with Reeves, he’s what would happen if Rocky Maivia had only gone to the gym once a week. He’s weirdly tall and lanky and super physically awkward in the ring, which will eventually Jacob Novak him into oblivion, or maybe it’ll all end up clicking and give him a Dustin Rhodes charisma. What I’m getting at is he’ll either be the Rock or Prince Iaukea, and nothing in-between.
After some dancing and some bad punching, There Is Not Any Way Jose gets the win. That leads to the thrilling post-match encounter with THE DRIFTER, and the two exchange songs in the style of a Bayley Poetry Slam and test a live audience’s ability to pretend to stay interested in the dancing guy they all kind of like.
No Way Jose, Kona Reeves and Elias Samson isn’t exactly Sami Zayn, Neville and Tyler Breeze, but fuck, maybe we’ll get there.
Worst: The Atkins Diet
Eric Young takes on NXT’s worst wrestler ever, Chris Atkins, whom you may remember from that time he lost to Mojo Rawley in one move. He’s still named after the dude from Blue Lagoon. Imagine if someone was trying to make a Mark Jindrak create-a-wrestler, made an okay head, gave up when they realized they couldn’t put the right design on the trunks but accidentally saved it anyway. That’s Chris Atkins. Eric Young defeats him in almost total silence.
After the match, Young assures Tye Dillinger that he made a terrible mistake by not joining SAnitY, and instructs Big Damo to beat up Atkins. Oh, and Damo’s name is now KILLIAN DAIN, which straight-up sounds like someone the X-Men would battle on an adventure in outer space. I guess my suggestion of STABBISH PIGSLY wasn’t strong enough.
Worst: Shane Thorne Is Hurt
… and out for most of the next year. There goes the one match at NXT TakeOver: San Antonio I knew I’d love. Maybe The Revival will show up anyway and make an open challenge, and have it answered by the Performance Center’s newest signees … well, I wanted to type “The Young Bucks” here, but knowing WWE’s recent hiring strategy I should type “Rhett Titus and somebody.” Heavy Machinery getting a break, maybe? What’re the chances WWE drops War Machine on us?
Who am I kidding, this is the start of the epic NICK MILLER singles run. Either that, or the beginning of Miller and Rod Strong as NXT’s rough-and-tumblest father-son team.
Best: Getting Cross
This week’s main event is a Confrontation Segment to put over the fatal four-way for the Women’s Championship at TakeOver: San Antonio. Here are a few notes:
– Shout-out to Dana Brooke for getting the job as Billie Kay’s personal makeup artist. Seriously, there’s no way she’s not doing her makeup like that for heel heat. It’s like she put it on with Homer Simpson’s makeup gun.
– I could listen to Peyton Royce (and her white-ass shoes) say “San Antonio” all day. They should give that to sick people instead of medicine.
– I love the dynamic they’ve set up for this match. Asuka is clearly enraged by what’s been going on with her, but she’s still Asuka, so there’s a lot of standing around trying to intimidate people before she fights them. Meanwhile, Nikki Cross is just gung-ho bonkers forward with her anger and not only can’t be intimidated, she can’t even react in a way Asuka can physically understand. So the major story of the match is going to be Asuka and Nikki Cross going full-tilt trying to challenge and one-up and scare the other, while Billie and Peyton lurk around taking cheapshots and trying to steal a victory. Because hey, Asuka doesn’t have to get pinned to lose the belt, and she did it to herself. She asked for it. Peyton and Billie might’ve just successfully played these two deranged, difficult-to-communicate-with entities against each other for maximum profit.
– Also, this is the weirdest episode of Sense8 ever.
