WWE Is Reporting A Mystery Groin Injury For Big E Following Raw

In what stands to be today’s most important kayfabe dick injury news, WWE.com is reporting that Big E has suffered a non-specific crotch-related injury following the attack by The Club on Monday Night Raw.

WWE Tag Team Champion Big E suffered an injury at the hands of Luke Gallows & Karl Anderson following their match on Raw, WWE.com can confirm.

After Gallows & Anderson pulled Big E groin-first into the turnbuckle at the end of a post-match brawl between Gallows, Anderson and the entirety of The New Day, the WWE Tag Team Champion was taken to the trainer’s room. He underwent several tests and medical examinations, but WWE officials did not confirm the specifics or severity of Big E’s injury at this time.

If you missed the attack, you can check it out at the 2:12 mark of this video. Anderson and Gallows each grab an ankle and pull Big E crotch-first into the ring post. It’s the most heinous assault on the New Day’s genitals since that time Enzo Amore said he had sex with Xavier Woods’ trombone:

Big E offered the following comments.

A cramping of Big E’s hip swivel and all associated accoutrements would be a huge blow to the New Day’s aesthetic, so we wish E a speedy recovery. Leave the memories alone: