We Tried To Eat As Much Chipotle As WWE’s Monster, Braun Strowman

Before Braun Strowman began his career as WWE’s Monster Among Men, he had a successful run as a strongman, competing in big dude stuff like the Arnold Strongman Classic, and the SCL North American Championships. Strowman stands at 6 ft. 8 in. weighing in at 385 lbs. and walks in the same circles as Game of Thrones’ Mountain. The Monster Among Men moniker is no exaggeration.

The nature of WWE’s grueling schedule is well documented. Between travel, and performing, and traveling again, and performing again, the typical meal plan for someone like Strowman can be difficult to manage. He works out a lot, but in order to maintain his Monster status he has to eat a lot, and it’s hard to find time in WWE’s schedule to make sure you’re eating the right food to maintain yourself in that lifestyle.

Strowman turned to Chipotle, which is a common thread among professional athletes who have to travel from city to city on a daily basis. The NBA’s general love for Chipotle is well documented, but Braun Strowman takes that love to a whole new level.

The Ringer’s David Shoemaker asked Braun Strowman what his typical Chipotle order looked like, and yeah, it’s a lot.

Shoemaker: What’s the order? For all of us trying to get big and strong like you.

Strowman: A bowl. One scoop of rice. Grilled vegetables. Three scoops of steak. Two scoops of chicken. Guac. Corn. Sour cream.

Shoemaker would also give us the caloric breakdown.

One scoop of rice: 210 calories
Grilled vegetables: 20
Three orders of steak: 3 x 150 = 450
Two orders of chicken: 2 x 180 = 360
Guacamole: 230
Corn: 80
Sour cream: 120

In an effort to big and strong like Braun Strowman, I knew what had to be done. I had to see if I could finish Braun Strowman’s order.

I’m going to be honest with you before we get to the results. I went into this challenge extremely confident. It’s a lot of food, yes, but as a family-less human male just a few years out of college, I also frequent Chipotle, norovirus be dammed. Without hyperbole, I eat Chipotle at least twice a week, and will usually grab two bowls, one for now, one for later. Like Strowman, I’ve convinced myself that Chipotle is healthier than some of the other fast-casual options. Maybe it is, maybe it isn’t. I rather not know.

I was a bit nervous walking into my local Chipotle because I wasn’t as hungry as I should have been considering how much food I was about to consume, and how confident I had been all week about eating this thing. Doubt started creeping in.

When I went to place my order of triple steak and double chicken, the confused server had to go in the back and ask his manager if he was allowed to give me that much food. The manager made sure I knew how expensive it would be, and I had to wait for them to make more steak because the scoops were so heaping.

Strowman’s order threw the entire Chipotle staff for a loop. The server didn’t know how to make it, the manager looked at me like I was a crazy person, and the lady at the register had no idea how to charge me for it. I actually found this kind of surprising. When I initially read what Strowman’s order was a month earlier, I didn’t think it was all that crazy. When I got to Chipotle and nobody could figure out what the hell was going on, I finally realized how much I was eating.

It’s worth mentioning as a side-note here that I tried this challenge on the same day that Chipotle’s queso debuted nationwide, and as a Chipotle connoisseur I absolutely needed to try it. My official review on Chipotle’s queso is that it’s fine. It’s not great, and it’s not as bad as everyone is making it out to be. It’s fine. Ok, back to Strowman.

They finally figured out my order, so I found a nice spot next to the Au Baun Pain bathroom just in case we had any accidents, set up the camera, and started rolling.

Without further ado, The Braun Strowman Chipotle Challenge:

I did it! I’m big and strong like Braun Strowman now!

Ok, so, this sucked. I don’t recommend it at all. The middle of the bowl was all meat, and for as much as I like Chipotle, the protein is the worst part. It’s the salsa and the guacamole and the vinaigrette (shout out to all my vinaigrette eaters out there) that makes Chipotle taste great. The ratio in Braun Strowman’s order is way off. There isn’t enough salsa, guacamole, and sour cream to support all the meat. At some point, you’re just eating endless forkfuls of average steak and chicken. I’m happy I finished it if only because I can say I ate as much Chipotle as Braun Strowman that one time, but this was a miserable experience.

My immediate worry after completing this dumb thing was that it would ruin my appetite for Chipotle. There is a point you reach with every food you eat as frequently as I eat Chipotle where you just lose the taste for it. Eating that much steak and chicken made me physically ill, and proving that I’m just as much of a Chipotle man as Braun Strowman wasn’t worth losing the taste for my favorite food. Thankfully, I rallied. I went back to Chipotle later that week and I still got it. The coast is clear.

As a matter of fact, writing this made me hungry so I’m off to Chipotle. I’ll see you next time a monster reveals their order.