Brock Lesnar is terrifying, full stop. Whether it’s busting open Randy Orton’s head with the giant hamhocks masquerading as his hands, cussing about Conor McGregor at press events, or laughing about Jimmy John’s sandwiches, he’s easily one of the most intimidating people on the planet. We made eye contact ever so briefly at the WWE 2K17 launch party last weekend and I’m STILL nervous.
Now, imagine that you took all of that aggression and intimidation and the dick knife tattoo and shrunk it down so it was itty bitty. Or, you know, you could just watch this clip instead because it’s totally a real thing:
I love everything about this. I love the drawn-on fake abs. I love how f*cking pumped this kid is, like he’s also full of mysterious banned substances. I love pint-sized Paul Heyman almost as much as I love regular-sized Paul Heyman. These tiny versions of larger wrestling icons being posted by WWE’s actual giant Big Show/Paul Wight? Also delightful.
Maybe there’s a tiny little Randy Orton out there who’s willing to go head to head with Baby Brock. Or maybe the real Randy Orton. Child labor laws be damned, I’d watch that match in a heartbeat.