The Aces And Ehs Of Impact Wrestling 4/5/18: We Need To Talk About Berto


Impact Wrestling

Hello, and welcome to weekly Impact Wrestling coverage on With Spandex. And also welcome to me, LaToya Ferguson, your recapper and friend. Who loves ya, baby? Me, the person who gets down to the nitty and the especially gritty of Impact Wrestling every week just for you.

Disclaimer: Literally the day after this episode aired, Alberto El Patron legitimately no-showed the Impact Wrestling versus Lucha Underground event. After showing up to WrestleCon for a signing (he was on the Twitch stream) and a press conference (also on the stream) the day of said event. His release from the company was announced the following day. So please forgive the pre-“he done done it again” praise you’ll see in this recap. Because I have enough of a headache trying to praise this company’s storytelling while also regularly wanting to say, “they should’ve known better in the first place.”

Now for some good housekeeping: You can follow me on Twitter here, With Spandex here, and Uproxx here. And don’t forget to watch Impact Wrestling on Pop at 8 pm on Thursdays so you can read these pieces and share them with the online world. That shouldn’t be too difficult, should it?

Previously: Sami Callihan Bugs Bunny’d himself into a wig and dress, and it was not even the craziest thing to happen that week.

If I Can Be Serious For A Minute

“Since capturing the Impact Wrestling World Championship, he’s taken his game to the Double A level.”

If I can also be pedantic for a minute: Unless you’re saying Austin Aries has “taken his game to the Arn Anderson level,” you mean the “A Double level,” Voiceover Guy. Seriously, everything else about Voiceover Guy this week is an ACE — especially when it comes to catching the audience up, in general — but this right here stuck out to me pretty early on.

Unless Voiceover Guy really did mean that Aries has becoming Arn Anderson-esque. Then keep doing you, baby boy.

And now for the actual bad news: Alberto El Patron’s massive unprofessionalism also led to Impact Wrestling scrubbing their good work from the Internet. You can see some of the presentation of this Road to Redemption “all access pass” in the cached version here, but the page has been deleted. (Strangely enough, I’m not sure they ever actually put the full video up on YouTube anyway.) It sucks, but it’s kind of understandable when you realize the entire El Patron aspect of the video package is about how people were lying about the kind of mess he is and how he wants redemption … only for him to reveal once again the kind of mess he is and that he doesn’t really think he needs redemption of any kind. I think enough people realized just how well Impact did WrestleCon weekend not to bust out the usual “LOLTNA” talking point at El Patron doing him, but at the same time, it’s got to be embarrassing to have an entire feud hinge focus on El Patron possibly being a decent person, only to have to eat his (and their defensive) words.

ACE: All That And A Bag Of Chips

“Tonight, we take a special look at Aries vs. Patron.”

This week (with the help of Voiceover Guy), Impact introduces the “Road to Redemption,” as this pay-per-view is a big fricken deal for the company. It’s essentially the company’s latest coming out party, with new championship belts and what-have-you on the way. I know you probably hate me constantly bringing up the disaster that was the last Bound For Glory, but in a way, this show also has to make up for the disaster that was the last Bound For Glory.

The special look at Aries/Patron is later in the show, but these are my recaps and I can talk about whatever I want, whenever I want. Like how they do really well to highlight a feud in a way I’ve been saying they should do for all their feuds, especially as they constantly have to fill for time. The most similar thing I can compare this to though, is the Rey Mysterio/Johnny Mundo vignettes from Lucha Underground season three, just condensed into one segment.

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