Hello Impact fans and curious rubberneckers! I’m Elle Collins, and this is the Knockout Report. I’ll fill you in on everything that happens in Impact Wrestling, but I’m always going to lead with the Knockouts Division, because they deserve it. You can follow me on Twitter here, With Spandex here, and Uproxx here. You can watch Impact Wrestling on Pop every Thursday at 10 p.m. Then on Fridays, read this column and share it with everyone you know.
Last week in the aftermath of Bound for Glory, Fenix challenged new World Champion Johnny Impact, and Allie turned into a monster in the ring.
Without further ado, here’s the Knockout Report for October 25, 2018.
Scarlett Bordeaux’s Talent Search Continues
It’s almost Halloween, and Scarlett Bordeaux is dressed up like Margot Robbie’s character in The Big Short. She’s found some reasonably charming fan videos to show clips of, but it’s still very unclear where any of this is leading. I’m starting to feel like I get too hung up on the future when talking about Scarlett in particular, when I should accept that sitting in bathtubs and wearing an outrageous outfit to watch a match from the stage is the kind of thing Impact hired her for. The problem I have with that proposition is that so many of her segments revolve around what she’s about to do, but after being here for months there’s still not much she’s actually done. If she’s not here to wrestle the other Knockouts, should could be a manger. But rather than being a manager, she’s looking for someone to manage, with no particular time table for finding anyone. Honestly, if you’re not going to put her in the ring herself, put her with Trevor Lee or Petey Williams and get on with it.
Su Yung Defeated Kiera Hogan
In the lead-up to Bound for Glory, I talked a lot about this storyline as a horror movie with Allie as the protagonist. Now we’re in the sequel to that movie, in which Kiera Hogan is the protagonist because Allie has been infected by the darkness. Fortunately, Kiera’s up to the task. Even though she lost here, she looked great and seems more and more ready to be a star. She’s also lucky that Su didn’t have any Bridesmaids this week, and wasn’t looking to put anyone in a coffin. But then, Su knew she had a surprise in her back pocket, which is her new degree of control over Allie.
Obviously we don’t know exactly what the deal is with Allie at this point, but if it’s all leading up to a match where a returned Rosemary has to fight Su Yung and a fully corrupted Allie so she can shove Allie’s soul back into her at the end and change her back into her old self, you know I’m on board for that.
I also hope that Su Yung stays stripped down to her basic gimmick like she was here, at least for a while. Having an entourage and a coffin gimmick made sense when she was the evil champion, but now that she’s just a midcard zombie it works better to have her stalk out on her own. She’s plenty scary without six other girls who share less striking versions of her look following her around. Also it looks like she may have Allie as a full henchwoman before long, so the Undead Maid of Honor can probably take some time off.
Meanwhile, In Guyville
Sami Callihan Defeated Trevor Lee
Scarlett Bordeaux, always scouting for talent, watched this match from the stage. Her presence distracted Dave Crist at a crucial moment, but Sami still got the win with Jake’s help. And also because Trevor Lee always loses, and they don’t seem interested in changing that just yet.
LAX Defeated The Heavenly Bodies
The new Heavenly Bodies seem really fun, starting with their fantastic names: Desirable Dustin and Gigolo Justin. I don’t know about you, but my favorite kind of wrestling nostalgia is when younger guys pay homage to wrestling of the past, as opposed to when wrestlers from the past actually show up. Anyway the Bodies were here to job, and LAX were great as always.
Rohit Raju Defeated Gama Singh By Disqualification
Rohit was hugely uncomfortable fighting his elderly teacher, but that didn’t matter for long because a huge guy in a turban showed up out of nowhere and beat him down. I guess this is the new other half of the Desi Hit Squad, and Rohit Raju’s new partner. If Raju eventually escapes from this unfortunate situation, it could add up to a pretty good babyface turn for him. I don’t have great faith that’s where it’s going
Moose and Killer Kross Defeated KM and Fallah Bahh
This was leftover payback from before Bound for Glory, when Austin Aries’ boys beat up KM and Fallah vowed revenge. Revenge did not go great for them.
…And Then Things Got Nuts
Eddie Edwards basically stole Moose out of the ring during the tag match, and they brawled throughout the building, ending up on the roof. I wouldn’t be surprised at this point to see Eddie either throw someone off a roof on Impact or get thrown off, but that didn’t happen this week. Instead, Eddie chased off Moose with his kendo stick and then stole a kiss from his estranged wife Alisha. I can’t say that I’m excited about the prospect of a romance angle about deciding to get back together with your completely unhinged husband who loves hitting people with sticks, but hey, maybe it will go somewhere surprising.
Johnny Impact Defeated Fenix To Retain The Impact World Championship
Obviously this was a spur-of-the-moment face vs. face match with no build, but it was also Johnny versus Fenix, so it was pretty great to actually watch. These gentlemen, you may have heard, are good at wrestling. Ultimately, though, it was just a prelude to setting up future feuds.
…And Then Everybody Got Beaten Up
Earlier in the show two things happened: Fenix had a promo video where he talked about Konnan being an important influence on him and Pentagon. Also, the OGz had a segment where King had a sudden mysterious idea about how to get revenge on Konnan without breaking the ceasefire with LAX. So after the main event when the OGz showed up to attack Fenix, it made all the sense in the world. Naturally Pentagon ran into save him, but Johnny Impact, who’d just been talking about being great friends with Fenix, was nowhere to be found.
Then Killer Kross cut an excellent promo backstage, and then revealed that he’d already beaten up Johnny Impact. With Aries gone and Eddie still feuding with Moose, it makes sense for Killer Kross to go straight for the belt. I’m excited to see where this goes.
That’s all for this week’s Knockout Report. Join me next week when Willie Mack fights Rich Swann, and Taya Valkyrie gets a second chance at Tessa Blanchard’s Knockout Championship.
