The Knockout Report 11/8/18: Multiple Maniacs

11.09.18 2 weeks ago 8 Comments

Impact Wrestling

Hello Impact fans and curious rubberneckers! I’m Elle Collins, and this is the Knockout Report. I’ll fill you in on everything that happens in Impact Wrestling, but I’m always going to lead with the Knockouts Division, because they deserve it. You can follow me on Twitter here, With Spandex here, and Uproxx here. You can watch Impact Wrestling on Pop every Thursday at 10 p.m. Then on Fridays, read this column and share it with everyone you know.

Last week Pentagon Jr. defeated Homicide in the main event, and Tessa Blanchard punched a ref to keep from losing her Knockouts Championship to Taya Valkyrie.

Without further ado, here’s the Knockout Report for November 8, 2018.

Jordynne Grace Defeated Katarina

Oh my god y’all, Jordynne Grace is awesome. Don Callis on commentary kept comparing her to Rhyno, and while that may seem less complimentary in a time when a lot of fans probably just associate Rhyno with Easy Cheese and Heath Slater, it’s still pretty awesome that we live in an era of pro wrestling when “female Rhyno” is a thing you can be. Jordynne’s beautiful, but she’s not about being beautiful. She’s about having huge muscles and kicking your ass.

Katarina was the perfect Knockout jobber for Grace to debut against. Her tall thin frame and glamorous gear offer just the right contrast to Jordynne’s look. Katarina got enough offense in for this to seem like a real match, but there was never any doubt that Jordynne’s strength would win the day. When it did, it was by submission via bear hug, which isn’t something you see much these days, but when Jordynne Grace does it, it looks painful as hell, and I’m into it. I can’t wait to see more of her. More matches, some mic time, hopefully a real storyline before too long, whatever Jordynne Grace content they can give us, I’m here for. Whether Tessa or Taya is Knockouts Champion at the end of their feud, I hope Jordynne is first in line.

Scarlett Bordeaux Keeps Doing Her Thing

Okay, I know innuendo and flirtation are part of Scarlett’s gimmick, and whatever. I’m certainly not going to “hot-shame” her. But let’s be clear about something — in this segment, she was definitely and purposely teasing KM and Fallah Bahh with the possibility that she’ll have sex with them, right? Is that meant to be the prize for anyone who wins her talent search? Because that kind of seems like the implication at this point! It’s also worth noting that when she first talked about the talent search, she said it was for men and women, but she only talks to men about it on the show, and they’ve only shown videos sent in by men (and Sharkboys). I’ve given up on the whole “maybe next week Scarlett will do something substantial” line of thought, but I can’t pretend I’m not going to get impatient with this whole thing before long.

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