I’m not the best wrestling fan since I don’t watch a ton of independent stuff and I know next to nothing about Japan. However, one area I’m determined to become more knowledgeable in is the fascinating world of joshi. Hence, the purpose of these posts. I (Jessica) single out a particular Japanese female wrestler (Joshi) and then find out about them (by taking a Jaunt through youtube, watching matches and becoming intrigued. Isn’t that fun and encapsulating?), and then relay what I’ve found so we can all learn something. That’s just good, quality edu-tainment is what that is.
When Dean Martin first laid his ghost-eyes upon Arisa Hoshiki obliterating Yuuri Haruka’s face, he let out not only racist but sexist epithets, though you could kind of tell he was trying to be complimentary. He was eventually coerced into making an “Ain’t That a Kick in the Head” joke as was initially intended, but the moment was gone and nobody was really comfortable even hours after he left. THANKS FOR BEING A WEIRD, GROSS DUDE, SPECTRAL GRANDPA.
The first time I saw that GIF, I basically lost my mind for five straight minutes due to the ferocity of the brain blonking. I’ve seen for real headkick knockouts, even of the Brazilian variety (‘Sup, Glaube Feitosa’s entire career?), but holy jicama, this is on another level entirely. I was instantly enthralled and had to know more about this visage-murdering delight. To the Tubes of Knowledge!
Arisa Hoshiki is another one of World Wonder Ring Stardom’s gnarly joshis (She might not be quite as cool as former drunk pirate Act Yasukawa, but hey, who is?), and her main thing is kicks. Like, pretty much all the kicks that have ever been invented by top kick scientists in their labs located in Koppoenhagen, Arisa has not only learned, but mastered. Front kicks, back kicks, the dreaded and mysterious side Czech kick, she knows ‘em all. Part of the fun of a Hoshiki match is waiting to see what new thing she’ll use a kick for. Need to counter a spear? Kick to the gut! Opponent throwing forearms? Block them with kicks! Some scrub tryin to holla at you, hangin out the passenger side of his best friend’s ride? GIVE HIM ALL THE KICKS AND THEN EVEN MORE KICKS AFTER THAT!
While she is a kicking machine, Arisa can also do other cool stuff, like chain wrestling. Similar to the Brazilian kick that started my fascination, I could watch Arisa exchange front facelocks (Or rear waistlocks) on an infinite loop for hours at a time (Though the same can be said for watching keys jangle). I dig a good grappling exchange, and Arisa is quite the shovel (I have no idea what that means. It sounds kind of unseemly, to be honest.).
Sadly, as I was conducting research for this piece, I discovered that Arisa retired from in-ring competition in 2012. After slightly more research involving web page translations, I was shocked to discover the reason being that she left wrestling to focus on her school work. Her one year stint in World Wonder Ring Stardom was while she was between 16 – 17 years old. Hopefully, now that she’s 19 and presumably done with all of the totally useless book learnin’, Arisa will return to the squared circle, her kicking leg itching to obliterate faces. If not, I’ll be super bummed out, though I think the other joshis and their ice packs wheeze sighs of relief through previously shattered noses.
Ok, I’ve shown you some GIFs, and while that’s always super fun, here are some solid Hoshiki matches to watch:
Arisa Hoshiki vs Act Yasukawa
Of course I’m going to start things off with Arisa versus Act, my two favorite World Wonder Ring Stardom joshis. If you don’t like what you see here, you are probably a terrible weirdo, but there are two more matches I’ll try to sway your opinion with.
Arisa Hoshiki & Mayu Iwatani vs Yoko Bito & Yuzuki Aikawa
Holy sh*t, y’all. This match is basically 15 minutes of four women kicking each other’s brains out. AND IT IS MOST RAD.
Arisa Hoshiki vs Kairi Hojo
This match starts a lot more grapple-heavy, which I always appreciate. Plus, it features Arisa getting MAD when Kairi attempts to counter the Brazilian kick with a roll-up.
I’ve done all I can do. If you don’t love Arisa Hoshiki at least 45% as much as I do after all that, I don’t know if we can be internet friends, y’all.
