John Cena Just Signed A Multi-Million Dollar Deal To Be The Spokesperson For Garbage Bags

According to the latest edition of the Wrestling Observer Newsletter, John Cena has signed a “multi-million dollar” deal to become the new spokesperson for Hefty. You know, the garbage bag company. EVERYONE PREPARE YOUR “TRASH” EMOJIS.

Cena will reportedly star in a series of upcoming commercials for Hefty’s “Ultra Strong” garbage bags. Get it? Because John Cena is also Ultra Strong? Well, I get it. This is a perfect case of synergy, because Cena has been calling all of his opponents “wimpy wimpy wimpy” for years.

Cena is certainly no stranger to that endorsement lifestyle, as anyone who has watched RAW for longer than a few years can attest. Anyone remember those Gillette commercials? Maybe you’ve blocked them from your memory after no longer seeing them six times a night. Allow me to subject you to them all over again.

This was the first one:

And this one (if I’m not mistaken) was the most recent:

Of course, those Gillette ads came long before Cena was the breakout star of Sisters and Trainwreck and before he started guest-hosting Today every couple months. To say nothing of his current television series, which is in the middle of its first season as we speak. Now he’s older, wiser, more polished, and fully prepared to TAKE OUT THE TRASH, JACK.

Now you can ensure all of your garbage will be compromised to a permanent end.