Riff Raff Already Has A WWE Name, A Complete Moveset And A Bret Hart Parody T-Shirt

If you’ve been doing literally anything else with your life and haven’t been following the story, rapper RiFF RaFF (aka MTV RiFF RaFF, aka Jody Highroller) wants to be a WWE Superstar. Instead of going to wrestling school, building a name for himself and working his way up from the bottom, RiFF RaFF’s taking the lazy millennial route: get famous for something else, be friends with Hulk Hogan and keep insisting shit will happen until it does.

In less than a week he was TMZ Feuding with The Miz, and now he’s gone even farther. Here’s the “Neon Icon” deciding his WWE name via Twitter poll:

The next step (because WWE is just an e-fed in real life) is deciding which moves you’ll do. Here’s the Neon Python looking at a bag of Skittles and coming up with his signature holds.

Now that you’ve got THOSE figured out, you need a t-shirt. Can’t come up with an idea? Just paste your likeness onto a pre-existing shirt. Hey, it works for Pro Wrestling Tees.

Up next: a guest appearance in the Royal Rumble where you unexpectedly eliminate Daniel Bryan.

I’m kidding.

I said I’m kidding.