Total Divas Post Match: Take Out Your Frustrations


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Previously on Total Divas, Paige revealed her secret boyfriend after grossing out Nia’s brother, Nattie tried to host a barbecue despite knowing nothing of hosting or barbecue, and Brie Bella realized she was done breastfeeding.

But enough living in the past, let’s look at the biggest matchups on Season 8 Episode 5 of Total Divas:

Nia Jax Versus Natalya, Naomi, and Lana

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This is one of those classic Total Divas stories where a quick conversation would have made everything okay immediately, but they wait all episode to have that conversation. Nia Jax just bought her first house, all by herself except for her dog. She apparently invited Natalya, Naomi, and Lana for a fun girls’ weekend, but actually planned all along to put them to work unpacking and getting the place in order. Anybody who’s ever watched this show could have told her that Nattie and Lana are the last two people you want to help you around the house. Individually they have no useful skills, and together they’re a nonstop maelstrom of drama.

It is kind of funny to watch Nattie and Lana come off as ridiculously privileged, though. Asked to help put together a small bookshelf, Nattie mutters, “This is what you pay people for.” Faced with similar work, Lana says, “I could write you a check.” As she so often does on this show, Naomi comes off looking the best by staying out of the middle of the conflict. She’s still super-annoyed that Nia deceptively invited them over to do work for her, but she lets the other two take the lead on criticizing the situation. Because who wouldn’t be annoyed if your friend invited you over for a fun time and then had you put furniture together and paint their house? For Lana, of course, there’s also a lot more going on than that.

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We’re still in the period where Lana was off of TV, when she was no longer managing Tamina and hadn’t yet gotten involved with Rusev Day. So she’s looking for ways to reinvent herself and get attention. Her plan a couple of weeks back to get on TV by leaking fake public sex photos with Rusev somehow didn’t pan out, so now she’s aggressively brainstorming character ideas at Nattie and Naomi. After a lot of pitches involving glitter and sequins, a wig at the costume story inspires her to actually dye her hair pink. Nobody’s sure if Mark Carrano will like it, but because she’s Lana she does it rather than asking anybody.

She also does it in the bathroom of Nia’s new house, which leaves bright pink stains on the wall. Ironically this brings things to a head, where the foursome can finally discuss their different expectations for the weekend. Nia gives up on making everyone work, and they all head to the hotel where Natalya had already secretly checked in because Nia originally expected them to sleep on her floor. Along the way Nattie and Lana have their inevitable weekly drama after Nattie says she doesn’t really like the pink, and ultimately Lana decides to go back to blonde.

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