On the latest edition of his podcast, legendary pro wrestling announcer Jim Ross recalled a normal moment early on in his career when he … [checks notes] had to hide in a bathroom stall while listening to National Wrestling Alliance promoters discuss how easily it would be to put out a hit on Vince McMahon. You know, normal podcast stuff.
In the story, Ross and Cowboy Bill Watts fly to a meeting of NWA promoters to discuss the Junior McMahon’s plan to push the World Wrestling Federation to a national level by encroaching on and eventually absorbing all the competing regional territories. Watts assured Ross that they wouldn’t learn, “a goddamn thing,” but that they could come out of the meeting with information. Oh boy, did they!
Via Grilling JR:
“So anyway, we’re getting ready to have lunch, that suspicious mystery lunch. And we had our break, and I make my way to the men’s room. I go into the first available stall. Might have been the only stall in there. And I get down to do my business, and here comes a bunch of guys walking in off of that meeting. Famous wrestling promoters. Hall of Fame men. Some of the most famous men in pro wrestling history, are in my little bathroom. And I’m sitting there trying to be discreet. You ever try to be discreet when you really need to go? It’s hard, it’s very sad. It’s really said.
“Anyway, they start talking about Vince. So one voice, very distinctive voice, says, ‘I could have the motherfucker killed for $700. Why don’t we just do that?’ Then like I was surrounded by a bunch of little David Copperfields, my feet started elevating off the floor of the bathroom. Because I didn’t want anybody to see there’s anybody in there. They hadn’t noticed, they hadn’t said anything. And so that was kind of where that ended. They washed their hands, and I can’t wait to lower my feet back to the floor because my abdomen was hurting, ’cause I was in bad shape. And they leave.”
Ross filled Watts in on what he’d heard, and Watts’ response sorta clues you in on how often this must’ve come up in conversation.
“So I come out of the — I finished my thing and washed my hands, believe it or not. I said, ‘Cowboy, well that was interesting.’ He says, ‘What?’ And so I told him. He says, ‘Aw, shit. They’re just flapping their gums, kid. They ain’t gonna do shit. They couldn’t agree who’s gonna put the $700 in, if that was what they’re gonna do.’ He said, ‘We’re leaving. And we’ll go someplace else and have a good lunch, besides this shit. Cowboy was more interested in the lunch we had, we got a few names of talents that were [interested] and things were going on. We had some big shows coming up, so if you get a date on Harley, or a date on this guy or that guy, all helped. ’cause he’s not gonna join the Alliance.
“So he said, ‘We’re going home because they’re done. They’re gonna repeat the same stories this afternoon they did this morning, except they’re gonna be longer and slower. And we’re out of here. Before we get through out last meeting, we’ll be back in Bixby.’ So that’s what we did. So the thought of killing Vince McMahon. The thought was not really expounded upon, like ‘Yeah, how do we go about doing that? Where would it be,’ whatever. It it was basically a matter of fact, ‘Hey, I got a guy who’ll kill him for $700.’ So okay, I need to doo-doo and move on down the road.”
First of all, “doo-doo and move on down the road,” is the best expression I’ve ever heard. Secondly, I’m not sure $700 would kill Vince McMahon. The guy once blew up in a very believable limousine explosion and survived, so you’re gonna need more than NWA money to get the job done. Additionally: holy shit, the wrestling business.
(transcription h/t to 411)