Watchamania: Scooby-Doo! WrestleMania Mystery (2014)

WATCHAMANIA fills a longstanding gap in professional, highbrow art and media criticism by watching movies about pro wrestling and assigning star ratings based on the matches they contain. We watch the matches and recap them like we might if they’d happened in real life. Context, pace, choreography, who cares? We want to know your film’s WORKRATE, and we will nitpick it until we’ve reached a consensus.

The second film reviewed in the Watchamania series will be Scooby-Doo! WrestleMania Mystery, director Brandon Vietti’s 2014 statement on what happens to a professional wrestling promotion when they stage a video game contest under false pretenses and have it won by a talking, mystery-solving dog.

If you haven’t seen the film, that’s the plot. Scooby-Doo and Shaggy are very good at the most recent WWE video game release and beat it on its hardest level, unlocking a “victory dance” mode. It’s played with a Kinect setup that mimics their movements onscreen, so Scooby does Sin Cara’s signature victory dance (?) and gets a perfect score. This ultimate game mastery reveals a The Last Starfighter style prize where anybody THAT good at a wrestling game gets an all-expenses-paid trip to “WWE City.” The city where WWE happens. FOR WRESTLEMANIA.

Also, a mystery.

Here is our critical analysis of the matches presented in Scooby-Doo! WrestleMania Mystery. Let’s see if they live up to our expectations for real-life matches.

1. WWE Live Event: John Cena and Sin Cara vs. The Big Show and Alberto Del Rio

The Scooby-Doo gang get into a car accident and almost get shot by a local, so John Cena offers them VIP tickets to the night’s live event in “WWE City.” WWE City is, as far as I can tell, a municipality created solely to promote WWE live events. Think of it like an Impact Zone in some post-apocalyptic future where WWE’s been forced to run every show out of the same building. Meeting John Cena after a car accident seems like a huge coincidence, but 10 minutes into the movie literally all we’ve learned about WWE City is that WWE Superstars jog down the middle of the street in the middle of the night.