Previously on the Best and Worst of WWE NXT: Lars Sullivan won a handicap match, Heavy Machinery took a light loss, and Candice LeRae was somehow viciously hurt by someone bumping into her.
If you missed this episode, you can watch it here. If you’d like to read previous installments of the Best and Worst of NXT, click right here. Follow With Spandex on Twitter and Facebook. You can also follow me on Twitter, where everything is terrible.
And now, the Best and Worst of WWE NXT for May 30, 2018.
Best: Hey Lars, How Do We Get Back On The Right Track
I don’t want to derail a wrestler I like’s entire thing, but this is the week I noticed how Lars Sullivan sounds exactly like Chris Farley doing motivational speaker Matt Foley. Go back and listen to it, especially when he says his name. That’s a Chris Farley emphasis. They even kinda have the same hunched-over, intense-for-the-wrong-reasons body mannerisms. Here’s you, here’s Lars. At NXT TakeOver: Chicago there’s you, there’s-
If Black wins after putting him through a table, you know this was on purpose.
Stepping back from that for a second, this was a simple, effective way of setting up a championship challenger on only a couple of weeks notice. Last week, Lars got to look like a world-killer by hanging with Velveteen Dream and Ricochet at the same time, and managed to not completely overshadow them by winning via Dream turning on his own partner. Here, Lars says Black won’t be able to knock him out with Black Mass. Black goes for it, and Lars catches and shrugs it off with such bemused indifference that internally you’re like, “oh, maybe he won’t?” And duh, of course he will, but NXT excels in not just telling you a thing, but giving you a few examples of the Thing in action. Good stuff, even if I wanted Black and Sullivan to stop wrestling and try to sell me brake pads.
Best: Johnny Gargano Is Losing His Mind
EC3 is in the middle of a match with Fabian “Karl Anderson But With Springboards” Aichner when Johnny Gargano nonchalantly wanders out of the audience, announces on a live microphone that he’s brought a signed contract to face Tommaso Ciampa in a street fight, and then nonchalantly leaves.
So at NXT TakeOver: New Orleans, the story was that Ciampa had more or less lost his mind, and Gargano was this righteous, forthright dude who had to beat him in a wrestling match. Ciampa was a crazy nut, but he was never truly able to push Gargano past his limits … even at the end, when Gargano has a chance to deal the death blow and put Ciampa down for good, he resists and offers his former friend a chance at reconciliation. It’s Ciampa who refuses it, taking the full brunt of the agency for the decision, and loses the match. Since then, the story has been that Ciampa realizes what happened and is taking a more measured approach to destroying Johnny’s life: beating him at everything EXCEPT wrestling, so that when they wrestle again he’ll be a mess.
That’s what he’s been doing. It’s why he knocked Gargano into Candice LeRae last week. Of course she’s fine. She’s Candice Le-fucking-Rae, she’s not going to go to the Local Medical Facility because her comparably sized husband fell into her once. But in Johnny’s head he’s done something tragically unforgivable, and now the nicest guy in the world is out here interrupting other people’s matches to draw attention to himself and his blood vendettas. Ciampa is a billion percent winning that match, because he’s finally, finally in Gargano’s head.
Best: The Handsome Cartoon Boy Becomes A Handsome Cartoon Man
I might be overstating it, but this is the first episode of NXT TV where Ricochet truly felt like a star.
First you have his match with the much bigger Chris “Don’t Call Me Donovan” Dijak, featuring little-ass Ricochet doing deadlift rolling vertical suplexes to a 6-foot-8 guy, and a 6-foot-8 guy doing springboard elbow drops. If I have any complaints at all, it’s that the match only lasts about two minutes, so it’s amazing they even had time to do it. Ricochet wins strong and definitively with his finisher, because Dijak’s better WWE days are ahead of him.
Then you have the post-match promo, which is probably the most confident Ric’s ever sounded on a microphone. Ther’s a reason they didn’t let Prince Puma speak for like 2 1/2 seasons, but I think NXT Ricochet has found that sweet spot between reading the clunky, pre-written dialogue (which is nowhere near as bad as its main roster equivalent) and sounding like a human being. He’s not a big charismatic dynamo on the mic yet, but it’s good work.
And then of course you have the Velveteen Dream, who is so good at pro wrestling he turned “guy with Prince gimmick psychosexually stalks a Dutch MMA occultist” into the best and most emotionally satisfying feud of the year. Here he’s tasked with the very easy goal of putting over Ricochet, which he does by clearly setting the stage, then taking a big, big step back to let Ricochet shine. A lot of major WWE types are good at the saying they’re putting over their opponent part, but go back to “I’m actually better” when it’s time to react. Dream puts the guy over, and then illustrates how and why he put him over.
For example, Dream says that anything Ricochet does, the Dream can do better. So Ricochet does this absolutely bonkers ninja shit in his direction:
The clang of his feet hitting the bottom of the metal ramp makes it, I think. But yeah, no, instead of puffing up his chest and holding his arms over his head or whatever so the nose-to-nose looks good in a video package, Dream actually reacts, and actually acts, and puts over Ricochet without saying a word. Puts him over harder than diving off half a dozen ladders could:
It’s not over the top. It’s a “shit, maybe I’m wrong you beautiful little bouncy ball” kind of look. Ricochet does good work here too, selling Dream calling him beautiful by just kinda thinking about it, then nodding his head to himself. Because bro, he’s literally a living action figure. Got more abs than Pete Rose.
That’s how the Dream succeeds in being essentially a genderqueer character and moving pro wrestling stories forward. He’s just accepted for who he is, whatever that is, and is valued and judged on the content of his wrestling character. It’s wonderfully progressive by just existing and feeling like it’s an indispensable part of the ecosystem. Favorite wrestler.
Best: War Raiders, Mostly
The Ghostwriters Of Pain get a squash win over Local Talent, and it’s fine. I like Rowe a lot, and these NXT bruiser teams without competition are what they are. There’s always one or two of them hanging around. I don’t think NXT knows how to build a competitive tag division without The Revival doing all the work.
Two quick things:
- It’s still dumb that the War Raiders wear battle armor to the ring just to take it off in the dark
- The “Raaaaaiders” chant in the Goldberg font sounds less like cheering for them and more like you’re making fun, like when we used to chant “Roooooderiiiick” at ROH shows
Best-est: Bianca Belair
If you’re gonna give a notable collegiate athlete a fake name, thank goodness you gave her one that sounds enough like her real last name so you can play the clips without it seeming weird. Bianca Blair became “Bianca Belair” for copyright reasons and/or so she wouldn’t get beaten up on a West Philadelphia basketball court, so it works. Blair! Belair! We’re leaving out syllables because of our regional dialects, that’s the ticket!
I’m getting a real Emilio Estevez in The Breakfast Club vibe from her, like she’s this unstoppable jock because of the high expectations of her parents, and now she doesn’t know how to do anything else, and would maybe rather have a different hobby. It’s great. The burden of brilliance.
Best: Kai Hard
Finally we have our main event, which is weeks in the matching: an NXT Women’s Championship rematch between spritely upstart Dakota Kai and the human manifestation of her fear, Shayna Baszler. It’s like a five minute version of Brock Lesnar vs. AJ Styles, and I loved it. Baszler really does it for me in the ring, because her matches feel like fights. She’s revolutionary for US women’s wrestling on television, at least, because she brings that Brock “I’m gonna beat you in five minutes or you’re gonna be dead, take your pick” thing to her title defenses. Shayna Baszler’s the truth.
I loved how this was put together. The entire story has been that Baszler ruined Kai in their first encounter, so now Kai’s scared to death of her. Which sucks for her, because Dakota Kai is like, championship-quality in the ring. She just can’t get it together, because Shayna got in her head and convinced her that being scared was the only way she’d survive. She gets thrown around and brutalized for a while here, but ultimately finds a little bit of internalized courage and fights back. Those fire-ups are great, and I love that she actually got a big burst of offense in before getting (somewhat awkwardly) shut down. I wish whatever big spot they were going for as the finish had worked better, but the effort was there.
Then you’ve got the post-match stuff, with insane but happy-to-not-be-not-debuting-on-Smackdown Nikki Cross showing up to make the save for her … terrified padawan? Not totally sure what their relationship is, but Cross standing there with her teeth gritted yelling YOU!!! ME!!! THIS!!!! was some peak George Steele shit. I’m all about it. I want Cross to have a more human personality and lean into the Nikki Storm stuff, sure, but I like that she’s used her time in WWE to create this completely new approach to how she speaks, moves and wrestles. It’s a fully-formed thing. And hey, if you’ve just finished a story about what happens when you’re scared of the NXT Women’s Champion, shouldn’t the next story be about what happens when the NXT Women’s Champion faces someone who isn’t fazed by the act? Excited to see where this goes.
Very good show this week, even if it was light on in-ring action. Velveteen Dream and Ricochet are going to tear it up in Chicago, the women’s division keeps adding layers to its story, and Lars Sullivan’s going to have a lot of time to be NXT Champion when he’s living in a van down by the river.
