Previously on the Best and Worst of WWE NXT: Brandon Taylor debuted! In less important news, Shayna Baszler put down Candice LeRae, EC3 defeated Fake EC3, and Aleister Black kicked Johnny Gargano in the face for being a little a-hole.
If you missed this episode, you can watch it here. If you’d like to read previous installments of the Best and Worst of NXT, click right here. Follow With Spandex on Twitter and Facebook. You can also follow me on Twitter, where everything and everyone is terrible.
And now, the Best and Worst of WWE NXT for August 8, 2018.
Best: Lucha Underground Vice City
Before we talk about anything this week, we have to talk about the “summit” between Velveteen Dream and EC3, which is, in its entirety, The Dream inviting a grown man to an apartment complex pool area — Dream’s “facilities” — so he can passive-aggressively try to push him into the water. That’s the entire segment. “Lucha Underground Vice City” barely describes it; it’s like a poor person’s idea of a rich person’s idea of how fights start, and it’s wonderful.
There are so many things to love here, from the artsy-fartsy shots of EC3 reflected in Velveteen Dream’s mirrored glasses to the corny editing with the Mandy Rose filter around the edges, to the absolutely incredible opening where Dream asks EC3 to sit down just so he can ask him if he wants to take a walk. And by “a walk” he means the two feet to the edge of the pool. This shit makes me laugh like I’ve been awake for three days.
Seriously, here’s EC3 TKO’ing Dream into his own pool and then shading him for freaking out when it’s only “like three feet deep.” IT’S CLEARLY FOUR FEET NINE INCHES, ETHAN, DON’T DISRESPECT THE DREAM LIKE THAT.
Literally all I want now is a followup segment where Kona Reeves invites both of them to his “facilities,” and it’s just him hanging out inside an otherwise empty storage unit in a stained papasan chair he found abandoned on the side of the road.
Best: Street Profits Origins
Also getting a big laugh from me this week is this promo by the Street Profits, in which they’ve set up a patio table (?) directly in front of the world’s shittiest looking ATM — is that even real? — so they can dump on The Mighty and give an NXT cameraman a panic attack. I’m not sure which part of this I like the most … Montez Ford’s sparkly Michael Jackson glove to hold the microphone, Angelo Dawkins doing a bad Australian accent and saying they’re “gon’ bust they head til the white piece show,” or the fact that I just figured out they’re called the “street profits” because they hang out at the world’s only ATM restaurant and presumably, literally collect profit from the street. So good. You’re gonna make me love Angelo Dawkins after all, aren’t you? You can do anything, NXT. SEVEN. SEVEN. SEH’M. SEM.
Best: The Baskmaster
Firstly, holy shit, Keith Lee is on WWE television.
Secondly, you know what makes Keith Lee so good? I mean, everything, but specifically? The fact that he’s a big destructive hoss, but he always wrestles competitive matches. No matter who he’s facing, Lee makes a point to sell some of their offense and make things look challenging, because shocking newsflash, you look better in the long run if you defeat tough, competitive opponents and don’t just squash a bunch of cans. It’s why guys like The Ascension had such a defined ceiling … they never proved they could hang with anybody good, so when they started wrestling people who were good, we didn’t buy them. Or you get a situation like the Bludgeon Brothers, where the matches they do win against tough opponents are so easy looking they don’t feel legit, and are therefore rarely engaging or fun to watch.
Keith’s debut match could’ve been him just showing up and Spirit Bombing Juan Francisco de Coronado or whatever, but instead he wrestles a back-and-forth four-and-a-half minutes against Marcel Barthel. Barthel looks GREAT here, with crisp, impactful offense and a character that in the right context could really take off for him. He feels like an Elias type, where his character — which I’m pretty sure is just Alex Wright if he’d never heard of dancing — might not connect with a smark crowd looking for indie cred and movez, but might easily and entertainingly slot itself into a spot on Raw or Smackdown. By beating this guy and looking like he had to work just a little for it, Keith looks competitive. Compare that to something like Kassius Ohno vs. Adrian Jaoude on this same show, where Ohno just stands around for most of it pretending he’s not being challenged, even when he’s taking offense, and just stops selling when it’s time to hit his move and win.
Thirdly, I wish they’d let Keith keep the pop-up powerbomb, because his version is probably the best one ever done, but he’s co-workers with Kevin Owens now, so I understand. The fireman’s carry Jackhammer is still pretty great, like the Pokemon evolution of the Attitude Adjustment. Keith’s going to be a big star, because you absolutely cannot teach or craft the presence and charisma he has.
Lastly, I would like to recommend No Way Jose as Marcel’s Disco Inferno.
Speaking Of Jaoude, When Did Ryu And Sagat Have A Son?
Real quick, I know we’re supposed to cheer for Ohno as a veteran Wrestling Genius™ or whatever, but I hope I’m not alone in preferring to cheer for the badass 17-time Brazilian wrestling champion and black belt who showed up in Street Fighter cosplay doing Capoeira lockups instead of Human Garfield in a child’s NBA swimsuit. I’m cheering Steve Blackman over Savio Vega 100 out of 100 times.
Not The Best: Why Is Nikki Cross Still Here?
Trust me, I don’t want talented people I love to leave NXT and go up to the main roster to become expendables, but does anybody else feel like Nikki Cross doesn’t have a place in the promotion anymore? She’s been around for a while and wrestled everybody important, she’s had a few big TakeOver matches, she’s challenged for the NXT Women’s Championship but never won it, and now she’s wrestling show-opening jobber squashes against folks like Amber Nova while other people challenge for titles and Sanity’s doing stuff on the main roster. What’s she doing? If she’s going to stick around, let’s get her a focus and some goals so she isn’t just treading water.
Also, I think my grandfather used to drive an amber Nova.
Worst: Remembering That This Is Still Developmental And Not Everything’s Going To Work
Just to type it so people don’t freak the hell out about me not liking something, I think Taynara Conti and Vanessa Borne both have tremendous upsides, and I’m not trying to say that having a bad match means they’re terrible human beings who are never going to succeed. That said, this is a pretty terrible match.
For example, here’s the finish, which is supposed to be a crucifix countered into a side slam, I guess? Instead, Borne’s feet hit the ground about halfway through and the Full Sail editing team tries to save it, but look at the placement of Borne’s feet when the camera cuts. There’s a whole lot of move missing here.
What’s sad is that this was for the final qualifying spot in the second annual Mae Young Classic, so the bout had some consequences, and the in-ring action didn’t live up to the setup. NXT has a bit of a “get out of jail free” card by being “developmental,” even though that developmental title was taken by the Performance Center a few years ago and NXT’s more of a polished TV brand than a place for up-and-coming WWE stars to get in work. Still though, it’s there, and bad matches happen.
One interesting bit, though: I thought it was odd to bring in Adrian Jaoude in his entrance gi and then a couple of matches later have Conti show up also wearing the entrance gi. Not that gis can’t be worn by multiple people, but WWE’s trained me to think it’s weird when wrestlers share ANYTHING, whether it’s moves or looks or first names. They should just team them up on NXT going forward. Gi-generation X?
Sorry About Your Plan Luck
Finally this week we have the main event of Aleister Black vs. Johnny Gargano, which would make everybody’s ears stand up if it wasn’t a two-minute interlude to bring out Tommaso Ciampa and set up a triple threat for TakeOver: Brooklyn. But then between this being taped and today, Al Black suffered a really bad groin injury that will require surgery and most likely keep him out of TakeOver, so the announcement and the show-ending three-way brawl and the last two weeks of storytelling are moot. That sucks, but obviously it’s not anybody’s fault.
So then we get an extra scene of The Undisputed Era attacking Black in the parking lot and driving away in a car with stadium seating like they’re the damn Riverdale Gang. The silver lining (if there is one, I guess) is that Black felt kinda extra in the match build and was only there because he was the former champion caught in the middle of the Ciampa/Gargano beef, so if he ends up sitting out the event we’ve still got another one-on-one main event Ciampa Gargano match at the top of the card. For the championship!
Next Week:
Kairi Sane elbow drops Aliyah into dust, The Mighty attempt to keep the white part of their heads from showing against the Street Profits, and Velveteen Dream attempts to save face after being thrown into four feet and nine inches of chlorinated water.
