By now, anyone who watches WWE knows that Rusev (the Bulgarian Brute and current United States Champion) and his valet Lana (the Ravishing Russian and current PRINCESS OF EVERYTHING) are engaged. Indeed, the accidental announcement of that engagement reportedly landed the couple in hot water, while bringing to an end possibly the worst storyline in recent memory. So it wasn’t all bad.
Well, the couple that brought us bar none the greatest WrestleMania entrance in history is finally tying the knot on Friday. Thankfully (mercifully), the entire shebang will be captured on video and aired on “Total Divas” (where the couple will be featured prominently next season). And we’ll probably get some sort of video package on Raw, because now the couple threatens to become even more insufferably smug.
I for one welcome our new Eastern Bloc royalty. Imagine the progeny these two will create. Imagine how the tweets will ramp up.
Of course, if you want a sneak peek at the glorious ceremony, Lana shared photos from the wedding rehearsal and subsequent rehearsal dinner on both Snapchat and Instagram.
The usual “Total Divas” suspects are all in attendance: Nikki and Brie Bella, Nattie, Renee Young. I can’t wait to see who else shows up for the wedding. Although probably not Zack Ryder. He’s busy playing with toys.
And because they both work for WWE, Lana also did a “bride”-themed bikini photo shoot.
I dearly hope that Rusev also gets to have some sultry pics snapped of him in a tuxedo-themed banana hammock. Maybe just a top hat on his mighty “Little Bulgarian Brute.” EQUAL OPPORTUNITY CHEESECAKE NOW, EQUAL OPPORTUNITY CHEESECAKE FOREVER.
