The Best And Worst Of WWE Smackdown Live 10/30/18: Fresh Brood

Previously on the Best and Worst of WWE Smackdown Live: Smackdown didn’t really seem to know what it was doing or why it was happening, but at least we got Becky Lynch and Charlotte Flair brawling at the Performance Center with the MMA Four Horsewomen standing to the side smirking at them.

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Here’s this week’s Best and Worst of WWE Smackdown Live’s 1,002nd episode for October 30, 2018.

Another Crown Jewel Disclaimer In The Form Of A 22-Minute WWE Championship Match

The last week of Raw and Smackdown columns and both my Best and Worst of Evolution and Best and Worst of Raw from last night featured lengthy disclaimers about the crazy state of WWE due to them building three “live specials” at once and doing a pretty reprehensible event in Saudi Arabia on Friday. John Cena dropped out and was replaced by Lash Lee, Lash Lee, Lash Lee on Monday, and then we heard Daniel Bryan had bailed on the event as well.

Cena was part of a “World Cup” tournament that doesn’t actually mean anything and hadn’t been on any of the shows to qualify for or promote it, so replacing him wasn’t a big deal. Bryan, on the other hand, was one half of a WWE Championship match seen as a “dream match” in a lot of fans’ eyes, set up at the OTHER big international house show event, Super Show-Down in Australia.

The reason I’m doing another disclaimer here is because it presents a very difficult problem for someone who loves wrestling and is employed to talk about it at length every week: I am having difficulty enjoying a 22-minute AJ Styles vs. Daniel Bryan match for the WWE Championship with a clean finish on free television. That’s an absolutely insane thing to type, but here we are. As much as I want to get hype and breathlessly type about how they’re wrestling their asses off and having the early limb work pay off in the finish, I also have to provide the context of “this is happening now instead of on Friday because a guy doesn’t want to go to Saudi Arabia to compete on the blood money pay-per-view,” and notice things like, “Bryan tapped out instead of getting pinned, is he being punished for standing up to them, or was this always the plan for the match?” Lots of weird internal conjecture that I can’t prove or even really justify beyond a crappy-feeling hunch.

Just to do it,

Best: Daniel Bryan Vs. AJ Styles

Taken on its own merits, this is great. I could’ve gone without seeing Submission Expert Daniel Bryan tapping out, but they build up the story of the head-to-head limb work really well. Bryan targeted Styles’ arm, Styles targeted Bryan’s knee. Not only was the work consistent and relevant to the finish, it made sense in a broader way; Bryan targeted Styles’ arm to keep him from hitting the Phenomenal Forearm, and Styles targeted Bryan’s knee to keep him from being able to use the Knee Plus. It’s beautiful. Even the submission finish makes sense with that story, because Styles had to go with the one finisher in his arsenal that didn’t rely on arm strength.

ALSO great is the post-match attack, featuring Samoa Joe showing up in Dean Ambrose cosplay to kick everyone’s asses and choke Styles out again. I’m not really excited to see another Styles vs. Joe match, especially not on the fly like this, ESPECIALLY not after Joe lost or won in stupid ways what felt like a dozen times in a row, but (1) it was a seamless and logical transition from one feud to another, and (2) Joe attacked after the match, after the finish, instead of influencing it in any way. It’s why Terry Funk attacked Ric Flair AFTER the match with Ricky Steamboat, not during it. You let one feud finish, and then you start the next one. They don’t have to overlap.

So yeah, taken on its own, this was great, and win or lose, the kind of championship challenge Daniel Bryan deserves to be having. At this point in his career, we don’t even need him to win, as long as he’s getting to do the thing he loves in the way that he loves it, against someone else who knows how to do it. But you can’t really take it on its own because it’s Crown Jewel week, and the match is only happening here because Bryan didn’t want to go on an extremely concerning Saudi business trip, and Joe’s basically showing up as a scab. So take it as you will.

Worst: Boo The Woo

Two points:

• oh get over yourself, Charlotte
• despite Evolution happening on Sunday and large parts of both Raw and Smackdown being dedicated to lovingly crafted Evolution videos, there wasn’t a women’s match on this episode, and there hasn’t been a women’s match on Smackdown since Becky and Charlotte wrestled way back on October 9. That’s four Smackdowns ago.

Paige there: let Asuka captain your team, or send her back down to NXT so she can help Io Shirai and Kairi Sane fight the MMA Three Horsewomen.

Best: She’s The Man

No booing of Charlotte Flair would be complete without cheering for Becky Lynch, so here’s a Best for her standing up to the image of Ronda Rousey, saying she’s “not here to cosplay” or talk about a reality TV show, she’s just headed to Survivor Series to rip Ronda’s arm off.

You know, I don’t have enough optimism in me to think WWE would actually ride Lynch’s incredible wave of popularity and buzz from Evolution by giving Ronda Rousey her first loss at Survivor Series, but shit, they should. There’s no better time, person, or way to do it. Lynch winning would give Rousey’s matches a little more believably — like someone could actually beat her, so it’s not Ronda selling too much for people who never had a chance or just squashing everyone — and Rousey could take her first loss in a way that wouldn’t cause her to also lose her championship. Plus, it’s goddamn Becky Lynch. Rousey’s not going to be a longterm investment for the company if you don’t establish that SOME of your WWE Superstars are on her level. Bringing in “legitimate athletes” helps, but if nobody who works for you can beat them, it makes it look like nobody who works for you’s legitimate. PULL THE TRIGGER. LET BECKY BREAK RONDA’S ARM.

Speaking Of Crown Jewel

The big “hey everyone, tune into Crown Jewel on Friday, it’s a great pay-per-view coming to you live from we aren’t sure where but Hulk Hogan’s probably gonna be there, oooh, Hulk Hogan” match of the week is the four Smackdown representatives in the World Cup tournament pairing off and wrestling each other for no reason. To “build momentum,” I guess.

It’s Randy Orton and The Miz against the 2004 dream team of Jeff Hardy and Rey Mysterio, and if reading that makes you go, “I’d like to see that,” you’ll probably enjoy it. It’s fine. It’s perfectly acceptable wrestling, and just like the Joe attack in the WWE Championship match earlier in the show, the post-match — Orton hitting everybody with RKOs — is at least saved for the true post-match, instead of being integral to the finish. I feel like Randy Orton would be the most popular wrestler in the world if he never actually wrestled matches, he just had a 2-minute segment every week where he demonstrated a new fun way to RKO somebody. “Join us this week when Rey Mysterio tries a straight-ahead springboard headbutt with his arms at his sides, which is definitely a move he does when he’s NOT jumping into an RKO!”

How Is Nakamura Not Joining In On This Dance Break

Also on the show is Shinsuke Nakamura vs. R-Truth, which was pretty good while it lasted, but hurt by the dreadful response from the crowd. They were just not into it, dance break aside. I’m worried those dance breaks are gonna become like “what’s up,” where they’re fun at first, and then they just do it the exact same way over and over until it’s lost its shine. Still though, dance breaks are fun. How is Nakamura not dancing?

Anyway, Nakamura wins and wins strongly, which is something we need to see more of more often. The guy is SHINSUKE NAKAMURA for God’s sake, he’s the United States Champion, he shouldn’t only show up when you need a debuting star to beat someone important.

Best: Broo Day

Lastly and probably most importantly, we have the “trick or street fight” featuring the New Day dressing up as The Brood, music and all. I wish they’d upped the pyro budget to have them actually rise up in a ring of fire, but (1) I guess that’s evil vampire magic and letting New Day do it would break 20-year old kayfabe, and (2) the production guys with fake Halloween fire lying on the ground were pretty funny.

I’m a little sad that the gag didn’t go over better, but I guess most of the current audience has no idea who the Brood is or was. Actually wearing the Edge and Christian tights was a nice touch. I always appreciate New Day when they make these niche references for hardcore wrestling dorks instead of doing the broader, more crowd pleasing comedy. I’M A YOUNG OLD PERSON, EVERYTHING SHOULD BE FOR ME.

As for the match itself, these holiday-themed street fights are almost always fun. The only time they aren’t is when like, they’re devoted to making sure somebody smarks like (Damien Sandow, I’m looking in your direction) gets humiliated. I really enjoyed how they went through the trouble of picking a member of the New Day and a member of The Bar to compete, then remembered it was a street fight and everyone could get involved.

Also great:

• Sheamus somehow being even whiter
• if you’re dressing as the Dungeon of Doom you need to make it more obvious, and put Cesaro in some zebra makeup
• Big E winning the match by blinding Cesaro with BLOOD SPIT

I know I ask for a lot in these columns, but Big E should retain the blood spit as part of his move set for absolutely no explainable reason, both because I want to see Big E vomiting blood in people’s faces as offense, and because there should never be a time in wrestling where SOMEBODY doesn’t use poison mist.

Best: Top 10 Comments Of The Week

JayBone2

Hardy going for the delete but Miz counters with ctrl z.

blacksnakemoan

Randy Orton is the reason they can’t do backstage trick-or-treat anymore…

Blade_222

Dillinger isn’t injured, he’s just refusing to wrestle in Georgia.

cyniclone

Carmella: I GOT A MAN
R-Truth: WHAT’S YOUR MAN GOT TO DO WITH ME
Carmella: I GOT A MAN
R-Truth: I’M NOT TRYING TO HEAR THAT SEE

The Real Birdman

Why didn’t Cesaro come dressed as Mordecai so we could get the WWE vampire feud we always wanted?

AddMayne

Joe: also, Wendy says to pick up some milk on the way home AJ

AJ Dusman

I guess it’s apropos…Joe becomes champion in a country where murder is encouraged.

troi

MIZ HAD NEXT!

Amaterasu’s Son

This crowd is as hot as the Arabian Desert!

Endy_Mion

AJ: I don’t mind going to Saudi Arabia, why if we head a bit north then I think we’ll hit Georgia!
Bryan: You mean the country right?
AJ: I have my flat maps and you have your… Spherical objects
Bryan: You know what GPS stands for right?
AJ: God’s Placement System?
Bryan: ahhhh

That’s it for this week’s Smackdown. Think there will be a dance break at Crown Jewel?

Anyway, drop a comment below to let us know what you thought of the show, and share the column to help us out. Join us next week for (hopefully) a Raw and a Smackdown not burdened by all this crap.