WWE Survivor Series 2016 — not the 30th anniversary of Survivor Series, no matter what they tell you — airs live this Sunday, November 20, on WWE Network. The show is headlined by “fantasy warfare” between Brock Lesnar and Bill Goldberg, as well as two high-stakes championship matches and three traditional Survivor Series elimination matches between Raw and Smackdown. Here’s a look at the complete card, minus the kickoff match they probably added by the time you clicked on this.
Survivor Series 2016 Card:
1. Survivor Series Elimination Match: Team Raw (Kevin Owens, Chris Jericho, Braun Strowman, Seth Rollins and Roman Reigns) vs. Team Smackdown (AJ Styles, Dean Ambrose, Shane McMahon, Randy Orton and Bray Wyatt)
2. Survivor Series Women’s Elimination Match: Team Raw (Charlotte Flair, Sasha Banks, Bayley, Nia Jax and Alicia Fox) vs. Team Smackdown (Becky Lynch, Naomi, Alexa Bliss, Nikki Bella, Carmella)
3. Survivor Series Tag Team Elimination Match: Team Raw (New Day, Enzo Amore and Big Cass, The Club, Sheamus and Cesaro, and the Shining Stars) vs. Team Smackdown (Heath Slater and Rhyno, the Hype Bros, Breezango, American Alpha and the Usos)
4. Brock Lesnar vs. Goldberg
5. Intercontinental Championship Match: The Miz (c) vs. Sami Zayn — if Sami Zayn wins, the Intercontinental Championship transfers to Raw
6. Cruiserweight Championship Match: Brian Kendrick (c) vs. Kalisto — if Kalisto wins, the Cruiserweight Championship and entire cruiserweight division transfer to Smackdown
Like always, here’s our complete rundown of the card, featuring predictions and analysis for all six matches. Be sure to drop down into our comments section and let us know what you think will happen, especially if you’re predicting something other than “the Brock vs. Undertaker storyline, but with Goldberg.”
Here’s what we think will happen:
Cruiserweight Championship Match: Brian Kendrick (c) vs. Kalisto — if Kalisto wins, the Cruiserweight Championship and entire cruiserweight division transfer to Smackdown
What Should Happen: No matter what you think about the cruiserweight division, we can all agree that the folks that run Raw have no fucking clue whatsoever about what to do with them. If Kalisto wins, Kalisto becomes the Cruiserweight Champion like he probably should’ve already been immediately anyway and the entire cruiserweight division (minus Neville, I’m guessing, because LOL) comes to Smackdown. They’ve already announced 205 Live, a cruiserweights-only show that airs right after Smackdown. Why the hell would that be happening if they weren’t making the move? Seems like the world’s easiest layup. Let’s forget the TJP/Kendrick rivalry ever happened and start fresh, preferably without the purple ropes and Sin Cara lights.
What Will Happen: With two “if they win, the title changes shows” matches on the same card, at least one of them’s gotta change, right? I don’t think they both will, unless Raw wants TWO United States Championships they don’t know what to do with. If I’m picking one or the other — or I’m picking Sami Zayn to win the Intercontinental Championship and decide to just be on Smackdown instead of bringing it to Raw, which would be his smartest move ever — I’m picking Kendrick to shit the bed and ruin everything for Raw. Or like, Perkins shows up and distracts him, and Perkins is the reason they can’t be on Mondays anymore.
Whatever happens, keep your fingers crossed that Sin Cara is sick on Monday and misses the memo about the cruiserweight division moving, and a weirdly Neville-shaped Sin Cara shows up on Tuesday.
Staff Predictions
Bill Hanstock – Honestly, it would kind of rule to have the entire cruiserweight division move to Smackdown and give the belt and the division a hard reboot. It would also rule to give Kalisto a reason for living. So you can pretty much bet on Kendrick cheating to retain the belt and keep the cruisers on Raw.
Justin Donaldson – Kalisto. I mean, there’s no other option, right? That new Cruiserweight show’s being taped at The Smackdown tapings on Tuesday night. So that’s your answer right there, right?
Scott Heisel – Given the announcement of 205 Live taking place right after Smackdown in the same arena that Smackdown is broadcasting from takes a bit of the mystery out of this one, doesn’t it? Congratulations to Kalisto for becoming the first wrestler who is good at lucha things to hold both the U.S. and Cruiserweight titles in one year.
Austin Heiberg – Gotta stick with the man with the plan here. Brian Kendrick rising out of his own ashes is one of my favorite things in wrestling right now, and he should be given the opportunity to become the villain of the division. And come on, you gotta keep the division on Raw. We absolutely need three hours for all the riveting… nah, I couldn’t do it with a straight face. Still, Kendrick is the pick here.
Intercontinental Championship Match: The Miz (c) vs. Sami Zayn — if Sami Zayn wins, the Intercontinental Championship transfers to Raw
What Should Happen: As mentioned in the Kalisto write-up, the money decision here is for Sami Zayn to beat the Miz clean as a whistle and decide he’d rather take his chances on Smackdown than Raw. It doesn’t make much sense in real life where you have to sign contracts and stuff, but shut up, it’s fine. That gets Zayn away from Kevin Owens and Kevin Owens’ massive shadow — not a fat joke — and allows him to be his own dude with his own character relationships and interactions. Not like he’s ever going to get that on Raw.
What Will Happen: Poor Silly Dolph Ziggler. He’s the kind of character that would run in and punch the Miz a bunch to cause a match to end in DQ, so Sami wins but Miz and Smackdown keep the belt. Where it’s like, yeah, you helped, but you’re only in it for yourself, and the results just disappoint everybody.
As much as I want that Zayn thing to happen, I could just as easily see Miz beating him and “saving” the belt for Smackdown. It continues WWE’s ceaseless love affair with watching Sami Zayn lose important matches, and gives Miz another reason to be an asshole to Daniel Bryan. I’ll be brave and say Miz keeps the belt through some real bullshit.
Staff Predictions
Bill Hanstock – Before Miz captured the IC title, I was thinking there was no way Raw would do an Intercontinental Championship-for-cruiserweight division swap, but now all bets are off. Sami really could win the big one here and capture his first main roster title. It would definitely give him something to do and continue Miz’s miracle work in 2016. That’s what I’m hoping for, anyway.
Justin Donaldson – Sami Zayn beats The Miz, wins the Intercontinental Championship, and it’s then revealed that Sami has signed with Smackdown.
Scott Heisel – I think most people assume Sami is winning this outright to balance out the title shift from the Cruiserweight belt presumably going to Smackdown, but I think there will be a little more depth than that. My prediction: Miz wins through nefarious means as usual, and the next night, after realizing they’re probably gonna be unifying the US and Universal championships in a few weeks and they need something for the midcard, Mick Foley reaches out to Daniel Bryan to negotiate a trade to get the IC belt and by extension, Miz, on Raw, in exchange for a few Raw talents — probably Cesaro, maybe Neville, perhaps even Sami unless they decide to keep him on Raw to continue feuding with Miz. Everybody wins!
Austin Heiberg – Haaaaaaaaa ha ha. Oh, Dolph Ziggler. The human equivalent of the Curb Your Enthusiasm theme song. The match is now Miz vs. Sami Zayn for the Intercontinental Championship, and my pick is The Miz. I think we have to start discussing him as a definitive Intercontinental Champion, at least for this generation. Hey, if we get more Talking Smack mic drops out of it, I see no downsides.
Brock Lesnar vs. Goldberg
What Should Happen: Anything other than what happened in 2004. The build’s been good, so fingers fuckin’ crossed.
What Will Happen: I don’t think slash would hope WWE’s not stupid enough to have 49-year old, ring-rust-ass Bill Goldberg wrestle one of those 20-minute Roman Reigns-style main events against Lesnar. What this needs to be is 12 minutes of brawling with a little hardway blood, a spear through the barricade, an F-5 through a table (if Goldberg can take one without actually physically dying) and a Kimura. Break his damn arm. Give Lesnar the win, and if it goes well, do the rubber match at WrestleMania. If it doesn’t, throw it in the dumpster for another 12 years.
Lesnar’s in ultimate mailing it in mode with his German suplexes, right? So how much can Goldberg physically take? I think that’s the most concerning part of this for me. Goldberg was never a super worker who put on spectacular WWE-style main events. He ran at dudes with his head down and picked them up. Now he’s slower and not as strong, and he hasn’t done this regularly in over a decade. Lesnar is Lesnar. So it’ll either be two guys looking to right a past wrong and throwing a hail mary, or WWE’s bringing out Stone Cold to Stunner them and drink beers on their corpses again.
Staff Predictions
Bill Hanstock – Lesnar’s winning this one, but if anything, it might have MORE of a train-wreck watchability than their first match. Their match at WrestleMania XX was one of the fascinating things I’ve ever witnessed, not necessarily in a good way. We’re all anxious to see how sweaty Gold Dad responds to being in a match after 12 years away, but the winner of this bad boy is a foregone conclusion.
Justin Donaldson – In the last year, for me Brock Lesnar has gone from a must-see attraction to someone I’m completely uninterested it. His matches have become totally boring. Great. You can suplex a guy a bunch of times. His matches against Dean Ambrose and Randy Orton were total letdowns. I know his match against Goldberg won’t let me down, because I’m expecting the worst. I have no interest in this. I’m going with Lesnar, and I’m predicting he doesn’t kill him. But it could be close. Has Goldberg ever taken a suplex?
Scott Heisel – I don’t know about you, but I have very unexpectedly gotten hype as shit every time Goldberg’s come out over the past month. I was never the biggest fan of his back in the day, but there’s something about seeing a titan of a bygone era make a comeback, especially when you thought it would never happen. There’s no way this match will be received anywhere nearly as poorly as their previous WrestleMania encounter, so hopefully that allows for a bit more brutality and a lot more storytelling. I’d love to see Goldberg take Lesnar down again, but but the logical part of my brain tells me that is impossible and Bork will suplex him to an early grave. RIP, Bill. We’ll always have the Georgia Dome.
Austin Heiberg – This one’s tough. The easy call is to give Lesnar his win back, but Goldberg’s been surprisingly intense thus far, and I kind of want to see him become the Hero of Children that he’s been trying to be. I mean, Goldberg spearing Brock Lesnar out of his boots for a clean pinfall would hardly be the weirdest occurrence of 2016. Hardly. But still, I’d feel like a fool picking against Lesnar here. I’ve got Brock.
Survivor Series Tag Team Elimination Match: Team Raw (New Day, Enzo Amore and Big Cass, The Club, Sheamus and Cesaro, and the Shining Stars) vs. Team Smackdown (Heath Slater and Rhyno, the Hype Bros, Breezango, American Alpha and the Usos)
What Should Happen: American Alpha should be like, “it’s cool, we got this,” and eliminate all five Raw teams by themselves. Then the Revival should show up a night after having lost the NXT tag straps to #DIY and break one or both of or all four of their legs, just to get that going on Smackdown.
What Will Happen: Hey look, this graphic plus the other men’s Survivor Series match equals the Royal Rumble.
Since the Raw vs. Smackdown Survivor Series matches don’t actually have any stakes, I feel like the best use of this would be to introduce a new challenger (of sorts) to the New Day. Maybe have a Smackdown team eliminate them and lay claim to getting some kind of cross-promotional title challenge match at the Royal Rumble. Freshen up the scene a little so we aren’t running New Day vs. The Club again. It’s almost time for them to break Demolition’s record and be free of the Long Title Reign trope, so why not give Alpha or Breezango a crack at it?
Staff Predictions
Bill Hanstock – Man, just no idea here. My best guess is that American Alpha and Slater/Rhyno end up being the survivors after The Club turns on Enzo and Cass. The tag team Survivor Series eliminator is always one of my nostalgic faves though, so I’m sure to enjoy this one.
Justin Donaldson – This may be a heart over mind prediction, but I’m going with Smackdown. I’d love to see it come down to New Day and American Alpha, with Jordan and Gable left standing in the end. So I’m going to go with that as my prediction.
Scott Heisel – Despite which side you’re taking, I think we can all agree that 18 dudes standing on the apron waiting for their respective hot tags is going to be ridiculous and make the match practically unwatchable for anyone in the first few rows just because they won’t be able to see shit. However, I am anxiously awaiting Breezango furiously issuing fashion police citations to Enzo Amore. Team Raw wins, survivors are Cass and Big E.
Austin Heiberg – Ten on ten. Two-thirds of a Royal Rumble. This will be succinct and cohesive, I’m sure. I’m going with Smackdown here, because thou shalt not pick against American Alpha.
Survivor Series Women’s Elimination Match: Team Raw (Charlotte Flair, Sasha Banks, Bayley, Nia Jax and Alicia Fox) vs. Team Smackdown (Becky Lynch, Naomi, Alexa Bliss, Nikki Bella, Carmella)
What Should Happen: That graphic looks like the color wheel.
Raw’s women showed up on Smackdown to pick a fight, so they should lose. In fact, I’d say the Smackdown women should put aside their differences and work together to eliminate everyone but Bayley, then spend like 20 minutes beating up Bayley until she apologizes for participating in a 5-on-1 attack.
What Will Happen: Despite the Smackdown women’s division getting a solid amount of (deserved) buzz, I feel like WWE’s always going to consider the Raw women the superior brand. It’s why they got three Horsewomen instead of one. Aside from Alicia Fox, they’ve got a really difficult to top team, as well. I could see Smackdown getting a win here if Raw’s team implodes (and there’s a good chance of that), but Nia Jax should be able to beat everyone on the Smackdown side by herself. Calling a win for Team Raw, with Charlotte and Bayley as the survivors. Nia gonna get that DQ or count-out elimination, watch.
Staff Predictions
Bill Hanstock – I feel like some combination of Charlotte, Sasha and Bayley survive after Alexa and/or Carmella can’t coexist with Becky and/or Nikki. Again, Survivor Series matches are kind of tough to predict. Let’s just assume whatever team loses will lose due to feuding teammates.
Justin Donaldson – Possibly the most talented group of women the WWE has had in one ring at one time. This match is going to make me seriously depressed that they’re not all together on one brand. This is a tough one. I could see Smackdown coming out on top with Nikki as the sole survivor. But my gut tells me it’s probably going to be Raw, with Charlotte and maybe Nia Jax surviving in the end.
Scott Heisel – I gotta admit, I popped hard when Charlotte walked down to the front row on Tuesday and the ensuing melee. I know a lot of people are upset about Bayley participating in that Nikki Bella beatdown, but I dig the blurred lines, and I also think this whole thing helps separate the Raw and Smackdown brands even further in the fans’ eyes. I mean, listen to the crowd during both Smackdown’s women’s brawl last Monday when Smackdown’s mens team showed up — it was exciting and fresh because we hadn’t seen any of these characters interact with each other for four months. Absence makes the heart grow fonder and all that. It’s easy to be down on the whole thing and take the “What is even the point of these Survivor Series matches, anyway?” angle, but I for one am into this clash of brands. Anyway: Team Smackdown wins, sole survivor is Nikki.
Austin Heiberg – Now this just doesn’t seem fair. Raw has the deck stacked pretty tall here against de facto team captain Becky Lynch and her squad, and I don’t think it’s an even fight. I’ve got Raw here, and just to mix things up, I’ll say Nia Jax gets the last pinfall.
Survivor Series Elimination Match: Team Raw (Kevin Owens, Chris Jericho, Braun Strowman, Seth Rollins and Roman Reigns) vs. Team Smackdown (AJ Styles, Dean Ambrose, Shane McMahon, Randy Orton and Bray Wyatt)
What Should Happen: Before the match, Vince McMahon should power-walk out to the ring and announce some kind of prize for the winning team. Even better, have Raw and Smackdown split the earlier Survivor Series matches and have a prize go to the winner of 2 out of 3. Because seriously, this show’s like my refrigerator. No stakes.
What Will Happen: As for the match itself, I’ve gotta go Raw again. That’d formally put my predictions at Raw taking the women’s and men’s Survivor Series matches, and Smackdown winning the tag teams. That’s absolutely incorrect, but it makes sense in my brain. If Raw’s team loses, they lose their jobs. Like, I don’t actually believe Stephanie would fire five of her top stars for losing a match with nothing on the line, but them’s the breaks. Plus, Smackdown’s got a judgmental-ass Undertaker wandering around. Makes sense that someone would disappoint him, and he’d have to take their bones or whatever, right?
I’ll do a version of Scott’s pick down below and say Raw eliminates a bunch of people, and it comes down to like, 3-on-1 against AJ Styles. Styles does his best Dolph Ziggler and almost wins, but Undertaker meanders out and costs him the match. Then we find out that maybe Undertaker’s not so happy about Shane McMahon’s shit after all. That sets up Taker vs. Styles for the Rumble, gives Smackdown an “out” for their loss and saves the Raw team’s jobs. Bonus points if Team Kevin and Chris are the survivors.
Note: you are not getting those bonus points
Staff Predictions
Bill Hanstock – The two most likely scenarios: either Survivor Series ends with Rollins and Reigns standing tall as the sole survivors, or Styles scores the “upset” win for Smackdown. Let’s just all agree that Kevin Owens is going to be made to look like a rank chump in this one.
Justin Donaldson – Barring an interference from The Undertaker or something else crazy happening, I feel like Raw is going to take this one. James Ellsworth will probably cause someone a pinfall. In the end, I think Roman Reigns and Seth Rollins are your survivors.
Scott Heisel – Wouldn’t it be amazing if we actually got something unexpected here like Braun Strowman as the sole survivor? I’m looking at Team Raw and wondering just who is actually going to eat a clean pin in this match, and the only obvious answer is Jericho, which leads me to believe Raw wins and KO, Rollins and Reigns all survive. (Strowman will be counted out after chasing James Ellsworth to the back or something.) More exciting will be the fallout on Tuesday, where Undertaker will confront AJ Styles and say since he failed at Survivor Series, there’s only room for one phenom on Smackdown —and boom, there’s your main event for Royal Rumble.
Austin Heiberg – First of all, any time I see the words “Smackdown vs. Raw,” I immediately want to dig my PlayStation 2 out of storage. So yeah, there’s that. But as for this match, something crazy tells me to pick Blue Team here. Maybe it’s the Shane McMahon factor? I’m not sure, but I’ll take Smackdown.
That’s it for our Survivor Series rundown. Agree? Disagree? Want to make a joke about which move Goldberg will fall down during? Be sure to leave us a comment below, like and share the predictions column and be back here on Sunday for our open discussion thread and results.
