WWE TLC: Tables, Ladders And Chairs 2015 airs live on WWE Network (and pay-per-view) this Sunday, December 13, from the TD Garden in Boston. The show is headlined by a TLC match for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship and, you guessed it, a tables match, a ladder match and a chairs match. No stairs this year, unfortunately. We were hoping they’d keep the additional furniture tradition going and make it WWE TLC: Tables, Ladders, Chairs, Stars And Vestibules.
Here’s the card, as we know it.
WWE TLC: Tables, Ladders And Chairs 2015 card
1. TLC Match for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship: Sheamus (c) vs. Roman Reigns
2. Intercontinental Championship Match: Kevin Owens (c) vs. Dean Ambrose
3. Ladder Match for the Tag Team Championship: The New Day (c) vs. Lucha Dragons vs. The Usos
4. Divas Championship Match: Charlotte (c) vs. Paige
5. 8-Man Elimination Tables Match: The Wyatt Family vs. The Dudley Boyz, Tommy Dreamer and Rhyno
6. Chairs Match for the United States Championship: Alberto Del Rio (c) vs. Jack Swagger
7. Ryback vs. Rusev
As always, here are our predictions and analysis. Let us know what you think will happen on the show in our comments section below, or just scroll through and make wanking motions at everything because they’re just in a holding pattern until the Royal Rumble. Either/or.
Notes: Ryback vs. Rusev wasn’t officially on the card (read: the Wikipedia page) at the time the staff made predictions, so you’ll have to pretend everyone said “Rusev via a screwy finish.” Also, Danielle Matheson is under the weather so she’s sitting out this round.
Ryback vs. Rusev
What Should Happen: The “what should happen” for Lana and Rusev is too much to type. They probably should’ve never broken them up. If they did, they should’ve powered through TMZ’s real-life engagement announcement and told the story they were trying to tell. If they weren’t going to do that, they should’ve at least milked that moment when Rusev’s in trouble during a match and Lana shows up as Classic Lana to stand in his corner and yell “RUSEV, CRUSH.” They should’ve done SOMETHING with it, and that something probably shouldn’t have been “put them back together with no heat or reason and write a new story about whether or not Rusev believes Lana’s a virgin.”
Anyway, this match happened on Raw and ended in a weird double count-out, so of course they’re doing it again. If we’re being honest, the finish here should be Rusev murking Ryback and winning clean by submission, because Rusev probably still has a future and Ryback’s gonna be an ice cold, merch-peddling action figure whether he wins or loses. If we can get out of this without any dumb personal or sexual storylines escalating, we’ll consider it a victory.
What Will Happen: I’ll pick a Ryback victory here, to keep him strong for … reasons. I can’t quite figure out of that “Rusev’s being goofed on and passive-aggressively punished for getting engaged in real life when he was broken up on TV” thing is legit, or me being a gullible internet fan who doesn’t actually know how things work. Regardless, I don’t see a lot of happy or positive things happening for Rusev — that “did Lana go all the way or didn’t she” story doesn’t have a happy ending, win or lose and pun intended — so we’ll go with The Big Guy.
(Although honestly, that staff prediction is probably the right one.)
Chairs Match for the United States Championship: Alberto Del Rio (c) vs. Jack Swagger
What Should Happen: Del Rio should set up a chair on an airplane and fly back to a promotion that doesn’t make him look dead behind the eyes. Jack Swagger should set up a chair on a rocketship and fly back to Mars.
The MexAmerica story is one of the least thought-through stories in recent WWE memory. The original beef was that Zeb Colter and Jack Swagger were xenophobic white supremacists (or a close approximation), and Del Rio was a Mexican from lucha royalty who happened to be their primary target. Fast forward and now DEL RIO and Colter are a team, preaching the unity of Mexico and America, and Jack Swagger is trying to get Zeb to remember the good old days. The good old days when he was … a super racist heel? Basically they wrote the story into a corner where nobody’s in the right, and now they’ve splintered it further by having Del Rio part ways with Zeb. So what’s the payoff? Zeb and Swagger getting back together as faces who “love America” and don’t want you to talk too much about why?
What Will Happen: This should be an easy win for Del Rio, dressed up to look like a difficult one. I just hope they find a way to have Swagger set himself up for the Tree of Woe double-stomp while holding a chair, just to see how they do it and how long it takes.
Staff Predictions
Chris Trew – Alberto Del Rio beats Jack Swagger so badly that he is tricked into joining the League of Nations. Now with the fifth and most important piece added to the group, the League of Nations can fulfill its destiny of being the fifth worst and least important group of all-time.
Austin Heiberg – Jack Swagger owes Del Rio nothing short of a kiss on the mouth for bringing him back to pay-per-view status. That said, there’s no way Swagger wins here. I miss John Cena, you guys. That’s what I’ve been reduced to.
Jessica Hudnall – I don’t understand the point of a chairs match, at least in this setting. It would be like having a PPV full of no holds barred matches, and then one match where eye gouges are legal, but everything else will get you DQd. I’ll take Del Rio to win. I just hope he’s happy in WWE even when he isn’t looking at his paycheck.
David D. – You know what’s better than this? Jack Swagger on UpUpDownDown beating The Miz in Madden. Can we have that instead? Alberto wins by sitting in the chair first after the music stops playing.
8-Man Elimination Tables Match: The Wyatt Family vs. The Dudley Boyz, Tommy Dreamer and Rhyno
What Should Happen: If the Wyatt Family as a combined unit can’t beat a bunch of 40-year olds in t-shirts, I don’t even know. If you want to run them against Kane and The Undertaker in a battle of spooky supernatural abilities and have them get trucked, fine, but Tommy Dreamer should not be able to show up with a box of Just For Men and trounce your monster heel faction. Give the Wyatts a 4-0 win with authority, get them back on the right track and have them do something worthwhile between January and WrestleMania. That’s what should happen.
What Will Happen: I hope something like that, but it’ll probably be more competitive. Erick Rowan seems like he’s only still on the team to take pinfalls and get eliminated from things, so he (and probably Harper) will go out. Maybe we’ll get Braun Strowman going through that giant table with his name on it. The Wyatts should still pick up the win here, because a win for ECW in 2015 is a fart in the wind.
Staff Predictions
Chris Trew – Better late than never, right, Survivor Series purists? Wyatt Family should clean sweep this one and Tommy Dreamer should visit a spa with his TLC paycheck.
Austin Heiberg – The Wyatts are pretty sad already, but they would hit MAXIMUM SAD if they took a loss at the hands of The League of Extreme Grandfathers. I don’t think that’ll happen, fortunately.
Jessica Hudnall – Oh boy, the Wyatts and Old Dudes! I can still care about the Dudleyz, and kinda sometimes Rhyno, but ughhh Tommy Dreamer, you need to take a nap. I still stupidly think some sort of something will happen with the Wyatts, I mean, they’re all back together, plus they got a new dude! I’ll take the Wyatts because I never learn.
David D. – Hey, NXT’s Rhyno is back! I think the Wyatts sweep through this match and pose unblemished. The Dudleys are here to put over talent and the Wyatts definitely need that after suffering loss after loss.
Divas Championship Match: Charlotte (c) vs. Paige
What Should Happen: Ric Flair in the PTO. Tell me you wouldn’t pop for that.
Charlotte’s Divas Championship run has been kind of a disaster, but the important time of year is coming up and if we’re going to eventually toss that belt on Sasha — or, better yet, a new WWE Women’s Championship so Sasha can toss the butterfly belt in the garbage — Charlotte should retain. Paige gets like 25 Divas Championship matches a year, so if she loses this one to Flair interference — interflairance? — she’ll be fine.
Hopefully Becky Lynch shows up and double agent swerves Paige to formally become the Tully Blanchard to Charlotte’s Ric Flair.
What Will Happen: You’ve got Flair there for a reason. I see Charlotte retaining, and I hope it revolves around her going full-on nuclear heel, hopefully without throwing her dead little brother under the bus again.
Staff Predictions
Chris Trew – Charlotte wins with help from Dad. Charlotte gets a nasty reaction from the crowd. Paige’s jacket confronts her after the match about always being so casually dismissed at the beginning of every match.
Austin Heiberg – Okay, so my first thought was, “We’re doing this again?” And then I was like “Wait… are we doing this again?” It occurs to me that so much of this Divas title angle has blurred together that I can’t remember what happened last time around. So just to make it interesting, I’ll say Paige wins here. Anything to make it easier for Sasha and Becky to stop being such background objects.
Jessica Hudnall – I super duper want Charlotte to retain here just so that Sasha can step in and challenge her. I’m not saying they need to rehash NXT on the big stage, with Banks triumphing at Royal Rumble or WrestleMania, with confetti falling and the world standing up to cheer for her, but at least make a move towards something like that.
David D. – What in the holy hell is happening here? Again. I say that Sasha Banks was the single most important factor in the Divas revolution and her not being a part of the current crop of feuds is exposing Charlotte’s deficiencies. This feud is going absolutely nowhere and I don’t care. Charlotte is getting pushed like Roman Reigns and they have the same skill on the mic. Anyway, Charlotte retains and hopefully we get her vs. Sasha for Mania.
Ladder Match for the Tag Team Championship: The New Day (c) vs. Lucha Dragons vs. The Usos
What Should Happen: This should be your match of the night. The New Day’s absurdist comedy plus the violence of ladder matches could be something special. The Usos are good hands to have in matches like this even if they aren’t individually spectacular, and Kalisto is more or less individually spectacular enough for everyone. God bless Sin Cara if he makes it through the match without falling off something and hurting himself.
What Will Happen: The New Day should absolutely retain, and “The New Day should retain” is a blanket statement for all predictions and analysis posts going forward. The Usos are the Usos with or without championship belts — they aren’t hurt or improved by them — and as fun as the Lucha Dragons are, they weren’t even credible NXT tag champs. New Day is the hottest act in the company and the only breath of fresh air in the post-apocalyptic WWE wasteland of injuries and badly-timed vacations, so give them wins and belts and let them confrontationally dance about it.
Seriously though, say a prayer for Sin Cara.
Staff Predictions
Chris Trew – I’ve fantasy booked people from opposite teams unhinging the tag title belts every year since 1999 and I’m not stopping now. One of the The Usos and Kofi Kingston get the belts at the same time making those two the tag team champions.
Austin Heiberg – Is Team B.A.D. doing anything on this pay-per-view? Please tell me they’re going to run interference on this. I’ve got New Day here, simply because of The Damn Numbers Game, Maggle.
Jessica Hudnall – Kalisto will get to do fun flippy-doos off a ladder, and Big E will get to hoss people via ladder and Jey will get to be related to Jimmy while standing next to a ladder. New Day wins, and I hope Xavier has learned how to play “Pony” on trombone to go along with E’s gyrations.
David D. – The New Day has been losing every match on free TV, so they’re naturally going to win here. I don’t see why they need to be losing matches at all, but I guess the E had to create doubt. This match should steal the show.
Intercontinental Championship Match: Kevin Owens (c) vs. Dean Ambrose
What Should Happen: This one’s odd. It should be great and have a ton of heat behind it, but they haven’t had much time to build it. Ambrose won a triple threat to become the new #1 contender, but he’s spent most of the month as Roman Reigns’ Good Friend. He hasn’t spent a lot of time as “Dean Ambrose,” you know? On top of that, Owens got sick as soon as the story got going, which means he missed a week of TV. As it stands, the only build is a contract signing on Smackdown and Ambrose throwing popcorn in Owens’ face on Raw. That’s not a feud for two of the best talkers in the company, or your non-Del Rio secondary champion.
I honestly have trouble predicting victories for Dean Ambrose (the character), because he seems like he only exists to lose to slightly more important people. Owens is slightly more important, so I’d give it to KO. The story for Cena’s return should be which championship he wants to go after, since all three top belts — the IC, US and WWE World — are held by storied Cena rivals. Ambrose’s story can be “setting out bottles of water because Roman likes them at room temperature.”
What Will Happen: Owens wins, right? Unless they want to go off the air with the worst-ever version of the Wrestlemania XX hug with Ambrose as IC champ and Roman as WWE Champ, they keep the belt on KO. Remember when Ambrose was United States Champion? I feel like giving him the belt would only get us back to that. He’d wrestle a thousand tag matches on Smackdown as “Intercontinental Champion” and keep the belt for a year with like, two defenses.
Staff Predictions
Chris Trew – Dean Ambrose opens the match with that middle rope bounce back clothesline thing we wish he would stop doing and Kevin Owens powerbombs him. WWE’s graphic department begins designing Sami Zayn vs. Kevin Owens WrestleMania images.
Austin Heiberg – Ambrose cannot win here. He just can’t. I believe with all my might that we’re living in the universe where Kevin Owens vs. Sami Zayn at WrestleMania for the Intercontinental Championship becomes Savage/Steamboat for a new generation. There’s always a man, there’s always a lighthouse, there’s always two Canadians beating the snot out of each other.
Jessica Hudnall – Pretty dang hyped for this one. I figure Kevin Owns (not a typo) will retain because Dean Ambrose is always way too close to forgetting how wrestling works and just running away off an Irish whip.
David D. – Here’s where it gets tricky: I don’t see all four of the guys in Reigns’ group losing tonight, because that’d kill them already. So, I’m going with Ambrose winning here. However, I bet Owens wins the belt back next month.
TLC Match for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship: Sheamus (c) vs. Roman Reigns
What Should Happen: Someone who isn’t Sheamus or Roman Reigns walks out, calmly climbs the ladder, pulls down the championship and walks to the back shaking his head, and we never talk about this feud again. Maybe Roman gets powerbombed into a ball pit full of tater tots.
What Will Happen: In all seriousness, this one’s shockingly difficult to predict for me. None of the outcomes seem positive enough to say “that’s the one.” What happens if Sheamus retains? We continue the “Roman Reigns thinks he’s climbing a ladder when he’s already at the top” story, Sheamus continues being a lame duck champion and we ride some Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2 notoriety into the Royal Rumble. What happens if Roman wins? Sheamus was just as bad a champion as we thought he’d be, and Roman is already balls-deep in another ROMAN VS. THE AUTHORITY story. Nobody wants that. If there’s a screwy finish? We’re still in the same spot. If Ambrose runs out and turns on Roman, what, he joins the League of Nations? All the turns made sense at Survivor Series. They don’t make sense now. What do you do?
All I can hope is that we have a good match — I honestly think Sheamus and Roman beating the sh*t out of each other could be spectacular with the right mindset — and that Sheamus retains. If Brock’s coming back at the Royal Rumble, I’d rather see him obliterate Sheamus to set up Brock/Reigns II at Mania than see Brock/Reigns II at the Rumble, with Roman as a 2-time WWE World Heavyweight Champion with like a month and five minutes of reign.
Staff Predictions
Chris Trew – Roman Reigns “cashes in” on The Authority’s pre-Survivor Series offer and becomes the new centerpiece of the company with the WWE Championship. Shows up on Raw the next night with his head shaved and permission to use The Pedigree. Or Sheamus retains the title via an improbable disqualification.
Austin Heiberg – Tell me it wouldn’t be the funniest thing in the world if Sheamus lost here. Morbid/sad funny, but funny nonetheless. I’m thinking Sheamus is going to ride that sweet TMNT hype all the way to WrestleMania, so he’ll win here. Sorry, Roman.
Jessica Hudnall – If this match doesn’t result in a Ninja Turtle making an appearance and beating up Sheamus, I’ll be really sad. I fully expect to be really sad at the end of this match. Sheamus retains because he’s not so damp and slippery, rendering him incapable of climbing a ladder.
David D. – I’m predicting that this match opens the show and we end the show with them talking about who’ll win the first match. People are pretty much assuming Roman will win here, but I think WWE will go with Sheamus for a bit longer. Reigns loses due to outside interference from the League of Nations. Maybe he’ll cry again in the end.
