“Card subject to change” is the most beautiful phrase in the English language.
The WWE February pay-per-view formerly known as Elimination Chamber is now ‘WWE Fast Lane,’ an event so skippable they could’ve called it ‘WWE Nothing To See Here.’ If WWE’s commercials for the event are to be believed, it may already have a main-event that fits the motif.
The show takes place on February 22 at the FedEx Forum in Memphis, TN, and ads for it are running during Memphis Grizzlies games. According to a Memphis-area Redditor, those ads promote only one match: John Cena and Roman Reigns vs. Seth Rollins and Big Show. WAIT, NO, GET AWAY FROM THAT WINDOW.
It’s probably (hopefully) a placeholder so they can announce something without having to explicitly say “look who won the Royal Rumble,” but it’s not hard to connect the dots. If Cena leaves the Royal Rumble WWE World Heavyweight Champion and Reigns wins the Rumble match, it’s easy peasy WWE booking to make WrestleMania opponents team up to create drama. Reigns accidentally spears Cena and there’s your program for the next month. Cena puts Reigns over at Mania to bring closure to his “the future’s gotta go through me” narrative, and we get frustrated because he puts over the guy WWE decided was the future and not one of “ours.” In three months, Cena’s the champion again. Don’t act like you can’t already see this entire year in your brain.
Or, you know, it’s nothing. Let’s desperately cling to nothing.
