Previously on Sunday Night Heat: Mankind took us to promo class, Mark Henry pressed Vader above his head with his bare hands, and Chyna punched Mr. Yamaguchi-san so hard it turned him into a bowling ball.
Previously on Raw Is War: It turns out Val Venis didn’t get his pee-pee choppy-choppied at all; famous dickless man John Wayne Bobbitt saved him at the last minute by turning off the lights, and then helped him dump his girlfriend for causing him to almost get his dick chopped off. You know, wrestling.
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Here’s what you missed 21 years ago on WWF Sunday Night Heat, episode three, originally aired on August 16, 1998.
BaD To THe BoNZ
Real quick, I’d like to nominate Stone Cold Steve Austin’s t-shirt as the greatest ever example of WWE ruining cool shirt designs by putting a bunch of dumb shit on the back. Look at Austin’s shirt. “The front is fuckin’ metal, it’s your name in iconic font but icy blue and there’s a skeleton that’s ripped out somebody’s SPINE and he’s on a mountain of skulls and giving you the FINGER.”
What’s on the back? A sperm skeleton and the word “bones” spelled “BONZ.” He’s BAD TO HIS BONDS.
Austin’s role in the episode is to continue wondering whether or not the Undertaker and Kane are in cahoots, despite something that important never, ever being revealed on Sunday Night Heat. This is the pre-show, Steve, the best you’re gonna get is someone telling you to watch Raw tomorrow night.