Now seems as good a time as any to revisit North Korea’s basketball rules or as I like to call it, the bastardization of hoops. You see, Kim Jong-il had an odd fascination with the sport, something he passed on to his son, Kim Jong Un.
At some point in 2012, following the death of North Korea’s supreme leader, Kim Jong Un made bizarre changes to the rules of basketball, the most popular sport in the country.
Three-pointers are worth four if the ball is a swish
-Who judges if the ball touches the rim?
-Is there a replay system?
-Is that replay system better than MLB’s? I bet it is.
Slam dunks are three points
-DeAndre Jordan would be North Korea’s Michael Jordan
A point is deducted for missed free throws
-Actually, I like this rule
-How has Gregg Popovich not talked to the NBA competition committee about this?
-Shaq would have been a great benchwarmer
Field goals in the final three minutes of the game are worth eight points
-NO. LEAD. IS. SAFE.
-So if you dunk the ball in the last three minutes, is it worth 11 points or does one rule supersede the other?
-My God, this would be so wild
Sadly, because North Korea is shut off from the rest of the world there is no game video with these rules in place. When Dennis Rodman went there earlier this year (with the Harlem Globetrotters), they played under common basketball rules.
Honestly, that makes me sad because I desperately want to see an eight-pointer to win a game. Somebody get on that STAT.
