Emma Stone, SNL’s latest host, is a fashion hero, who looks good in anything. But what if she didn’t? That’s the premise behind “Fashion Coward,” one of the night’s pre-taped fake commercials, where Stone, Aidy Bryant, and Kate McKinnon play women with a lifelong allergy to shopping, who’ve been traumatized since childhood by trips to high-end clothiers and their devastating fitting room mirrors.
Fashion Coward is like the Gap, only even more bland, targeting those “who hate shopping and feel lost and scared,” and selling them “clothes that suggest the general idea of a person.” They keep things safe, offering such attire as “brown sweater,” “navy shirt,” “pants with legs,” and a black dress “that says, ‘Keep it moving.’” There’s also a “big gray zip-up sweatshirt” that “doubles as a real-life invisibility cloak.”
The fitting rooms are a big deal, too, designed for those who’ve long felt “humiliated” by them. The humiliating, anxiety-inducing mirrors are now “far mirrors.” They also have a solution to indecisiveness, with a “mercy gas” that knocks patrons out if they spend longer than 30 seconds deciding on clothing. Oh, and there are no swimsuits.
There’s a punchline — that the store is “just Ann Taylor” — but perhaps the yuk flew over the heads of those who really appreciated this sketch.
